


I’m Stuck with a Phobia (I Want to Stay Together with You)

by Winter_Queen99



Series: I'm Stuck With a Phobia Verse [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Bang Chan works at a coffee shop, Character Study, Coffee Shops, Found Family, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minho also works there, No Beta we die like a person, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, University Student Bang Chan, University Student Lee Minho | Lee Know, based in America, not an accurate portrayal of therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:55:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26649391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winter_Queen99/pseuds/Winter_Queen99
Summary: How do you tell someone that every day was getting harder and harder? That every time you opened your eyes, it felt like you suddenly couldn't breathe, and no matter what you tried you couldn't move off your bed. How do you tell your parents that you're sorry, but there was no reason for this to happen? That one day you just woke up and decided nothing mattered.In a world full of questions, Minho struggles to find answers. Instead, he finds seven other boys in a 24-hour coffee shop and learns more than he probably ever would at University.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Series: I'm Stuck With a Phobia Verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1938964
Comments: 74
Kudos: 105





	1. Chapter One: After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a rewritten version of the incomplete story of "Questions" that I had deleted earlier due to my wanting to change the structure and writing of the story. 
> 
> Please keep in mind that additional tags are going to be added as the story progresses, so please keep checking those. I want this to be a safe read for everyone, and if something needs to be tagged then please let me know ASAP.
> 
> Also please note that I am not an expert on anything that I am writing, and I will be taking creative liberties for my story. This is not an accurate portrayal of anything.
> 
> Thank you and happy reading!

There are voices. 

Minho knows that there are voices, but he can’t make them out. Maybe if he tried harder he could, but that would require energy that he doesn’t have to spare at this moment in time. Instead, he closes his eyes and rests his head against the headrest of his seat in the back of the car.

Maybe sleeping could give him more energy.

The voices lull him to sleep anyways.

By the time he wakes up everything is quiet once more and the car he had been riding in has stopped. His mother is watching him from the front seat, her lips turned into a concerned frown and her eyes watching him cautiously.

Something in Minho’s stomach churns at the look. He turns his head to look out the window instead of looking at her face. He’s seen enough of that look to last him a lifetime; he doesn’t think he could stomach seeing it anymore tonight. 

Outside is dark. The night sky and its stars shine dully. There’s only a few street lamps on this road, and the yellow light washes out everything around it. But he would know where he was even if it was pitch black outside and he could only rely on his sense of smell.

He’s staring at the short driveway that leads in the garage they only use in the dead of winter. He’s staring at his two-story childhood home. 

“We’ll bring everything up tomorrow, ok?” His mother says and it effectively breaks him out of his thoughts.

Minho nods. He wants to say something, anything to her, but he’s starting to feel tired again, and just can’t find the energy to open his mouth and say anything on his mind. His mother doesn’t say anything, just opens her door and steps out of the car. Minho follows after only a second.

He finds himself falling in step behind his mother as she walks up the steps to their wooden porch. His father is already standing at the front door; holding it open for Minho and his mother to walk through. Though he is smiling, Minho notices how his eyes have the same look as Minho’s mother did. He averts his gaze quickly, allowing himself to think of something, anything, else. He hopes that he’ll be able to fall onto his bed and curl up in the blankets and try to sleep.

Maybe if he can do that he’ll feel better in the morning.

***

There are voices. 

Minho knows that there are voices, but he still can’t make them out. Somewhere in his mind, he wonders if he had even woken up before. If he was even out of the car and in his bed. Maybe he never even left his dorm room.

Maybe this is all a lucid dream.

But the voices are quiet; almost like they are in another room, and when Minho opens his eyes he’s met with the sight of his childhood bedroom. Most of the posters are gone; they had been packed up to decorate his dorm room. But there are some pictures of old friends, pictures from his dance competitions, and pictures of his family still scattered around the walls. 

The light blue of his walls almost glow in the morning sun. Minho could almost imagine he is still in his dream, but the voices downstairs let him know that he isn’t. Sighing, he pushes himself into a sitting position so that he can find the motivation to get out of his bed and go see who is talking downstairs. The blanket, a dark blue comforter he had gotten his freshman year of high school, pools around his waist. One of his hands comes up to rub at his face before it gets tangled up in his messy bedhead.

“Minho?” Someone calls from down below.

It takes him a second to realize that it’s his mother speaking. He doesn’t answer her, but he does grab the comforter with both hands and push it off of him. Afterward, it’s only a matter of swinging his legs off one side of the bed and pushing himself into a standing position. But even that takes more effort than he feels like he can give.

His vision blackens for a second, an unfortunate side effect from not having a real meal in who knows how many days. But Minho shakes his head and keeps moving. If he keeps moving then he’ll end up being fine. If he keeps moving, then he can ignore the past and everything that happened. 

He takes the stairs slowly, worried about becoming dizzy and falling. He’s already worried his parents enough, he doesn’t need to do anything else to cause harm. All he needs is to prove to them that he will be ok.

“Oh, Minho,” his mother says once he makes his appearance in the kitchen.

She’s dressed in a nice suit, her hair pulled back in a low ponytail. While her lips may be smiling, her eyes are still worried as she looks at him. Minho turns his gaze just over her shoulder to look out the window that is over the sink. He can see his father outside, moving boxes from the family car, and up the porch.

“And you aren’t paying attention,” his mother’s voice breaks through his thoughts.

Minho hums, turning his gaze back to his mother. “Sorry.” His voice is rough with disuse.

“Today. 3 p.m., you have a therapist appointment. Make sure you’re ready for it,” his mother repeats while she fills a coffee thermos.

Minho nods even though he is dreading the idea of talking to someone about situations he doesn’t even fully understand. His mother gives him one last look before gathering her things and moving away from the kitchen. “Ok. I have to go to work now, but I will see you when I pick you up for your appointment. So please be ready,” she says.

Minho gives another nod, allows his mother to kiss him on the cheek, and turns his gaze back out the window. He watches as his mother comes into the frame once more, how she says something to his father before getting into the car. His father waves as she leaves before turning back around.

Their gazes meet in the window. Part of Minho wants to go back and curl up on his bed, but the good son part of Minho wants to help bring his stuff in. He chooses to help his father. The smile on his face when he sees Minho step outside makes helping him move things around worth it. 

“We’ll get this inside, and then figure out what we can eat for breakfast,” his father tells him.

Minho nods, grabbing one of the boxes. He’s not concerned about eating at this moment, but he’ll do whatever it takes to make his dad smile at him more. Even if it means spending time out of his bed and out of his room.

***

There are voices. 

Minho knows that there are voices, but this time he chooses to ignore them. The waiting room is filled with people murmuring; either to themselves or to someone else. Minho is sitting alone in the corner. His mother only had enough time to drop him off, but he thinks it’s better than having her watch over him as he waits for his appointment time.

“Minho Lee?” Someone calls out. 

Minho looks up from the patterned carpet that he had been staring at for the past ten minutes, and instead towards the woman who had called out his name. She’s on the shorter side, even in the black heels that adorn her feet. Her hair is pulled into a bun, which makes her face clear. Her eyes are bright and her smile is welcoming as she scans the room. 

Minho takes a breath and stands up to walk over to her. “Ahh, Minho. If you’ll just go through that door your appointment will begin,” she tells him.

The male nods, following her instructions and opening the correct doorway. It leads to another hallway, but his mother told him the name of his therapist beforehand so that he would be able to find her room.

_Dr. Tylers_

_Dr. Min_

_Dr. Yang_

_Dr. Thomas_

And finally his own therapist, Dr. Park.

He knocks on the door as he opens it. Dr. Park looks up from the paperwork on her desk to greet him. “Ah, Mr. Lee. I’m glad you came.” 

There’s a voice, this time Minho knows it to be sure. But he also can’t run away from this one either. 

“Please. Just call me, Minho,” he says instead. 

The door shuts. And with a sharp click, a new chapter in Minho’s life begins. This one labeled after, and he knows that nothing will ever be the same again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter done!
> 
> I hope that you guys enjoyed reading this. And don't worry, the other characters will come in as the story progresses. I am so happy to be writing this story again, especially since Stray Kids have found their way into being my ult group. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated, but please don't feel like you have to. I will try to get the next chapter up soon enough.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/queenie_stay)


	2. Chapter Two: Insomnia

_It must be windy outside_ , Minho thinks as he watches red and gold leaves dance in the breeze outside the window. He follows them as they move until they’re out of sight, but by then there are more leaves in the air and he can easily find a new group to track.

And if there is no breeze at that moment, there are probably leaves being picked up from the ground by the tailwind of a passing car. Really, there is no shortage of distractions that Minho can find. 

“Minho,” Dr. Park calls out to him.

It’s probably the third time that she has said his name, but Minho refuses to turn his gaze from the outside view. He’d rather watch the world turn through a window then utter any more sentences. Especially when he knows it’s going to lead nowhere; just like every other time he has come here to talk.

His mother would be disappointed though. Minho knows because every time he comes home she looks at him with hopeful eyes. With eyes that look at him like Minho has been fixed. Like he’s going to be the child he was before. And every time she is disappointed. Not with him, or at least he hopes, but disappointed with the little to no progress that is being made.

Hopefully she’s disappointed because there is still a problem Minho faces that she can’t fix.

And it’s only with the thought of facing his disappointed mother’s eyes once more that Minho turns his gaze from the autumn leaves and back to Dr. Park. She’s sitting in front of her desk, legs crossed at the ankles. Today, she’s wearing a pantsuit, dark blue in color and bunched around the elbows. A notebook rests on her lap, her right hand poised and ready to write.

Minho has given up trying to see what was inside of the notebook. Even though his curiosity eats at him daily. Maybe if he could just _see_ what Dr. Park thinks he would already be fixed by now. He could go back to college and finish out the semester. But that isn’t going to be the case. And besides, Minho doesn’t even think he could be fixed at this point.

“Minho,” Dr. Park says again, her ruby red lips pursing into a frown.

“Yes?” Minho asks quietly.

She sighs, something not uncommon to their meetings. “I asked if you had found a job yet?”

Right. Getting a job. Because apparently Minho needed some “structure” in his life, and “something to get him out of bed”, her words not his. And Minho had looked around, but nothing was very pleasing to him. It’s hard to find a job in such a small town, but his mother had luckily come back with a promising option. One interview later, and Minho had landed a job at a nearby coffee shop.

“Yes,” Minho says to Dr. Park. “I’m going to be working at the 24 hour coffee shop, Insomnia.”

Dr. Park nods, her hand moving across the page as she writes something. “And what will your hours be, so that we can adjust our meeting time if needed.”

Minho turns his head away once more. “I’ll be working the night shift, 11 pm to 7 am,” he answers honestly.

The writing stills. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Minho doesn’t know if anything is a good idea anymore, but he thinks this could work. “Nights are usually the easiest shift. There’s less of a rush and it’s mostly just cleaning. As long as I have a schedule to follow I should be fine,” he says.

He can see Dr. Park nodding out of the corner of his eye even if she is still frowning. “But what about your sleep schedule?”

“It’s not like I sleep normal anyways,” Minho grumbles out.

It’s true. Night time is not made for sleeping anymore. Instead, Minho will waste his time watching cat videos on YouTube, counting sheep, or staring at the ceiling tiles. He rarely sleeps anymore, but maybe working all night will make sleep come easier to him. Maybe he’ll be too exhausted to keep his eyes open for even a second more.

He wonders what it would be like to sleep and not dream. If he just closes his eyes one moment and opens them the next. Would it be peaceful? Would he feel rested? Would it be better than the insomnia that already plagues him?

He guesses that time will tell.

“Well, at least you found a job to give yourself a schedule with,” Dr. Park finally says. 

Minho nods, but this time when he turns away from the window he instead stares at the digital clock resting on top of Dr. Park’s desk. _3:58,_ the bold red numbers read. Just two more minutes and Minho is clear to go. Just two more minutes and he’s free.

“And are you ready to talk about what happened?”

His eyes snap to Dr. Parks. He should've known this question was coming. It always comes sometime during the session. He glances at the clock once more, but it’s only been a minute. And when he meets Dr. Park’s gaze again, her eyes are kind and soft.

And part of Minho wants to spill his guts. He wants to tell her everything, but another part of him is holding himself back.

 _How can you talk about something if you don’t even know it?_ Minho thinks.

He’s saved, luckily, by the sound of the timer going off. Immediately, Minho stands up and makes his way to the door; a hurried goodbye said over his shoulder. “You know, you don’t have to talk about it today, Minho,” Dr. Park calls after him.

His hand stills on the worn silver doorknob that leads to the real world, and not an office where too many people sit and spill their feelings. But he doesn’t look back at Dr. Park. Doesn’t acknowledge her presence, even as she keeps speaking.

“But you need to talk about it. Even if it’s just to a random friend or stranger. Not talking about it is what is going to make it worse.”

Minho feels sick as he roughly twists open the knob and stalks out of the office. He almost slams open the glass door, but someone else is already on the other side. He has russet brown hair, a constellation of freckles against his pale skin, and dark almond eyes.

Something about him is familiar, but Minho keeps his head down in hopes that the other won’t recognize him.

It is a small town; small enough that everyone knows everyone. Minho being here is a secret, but for how much longer can it be unknown that he is here. With him working at the cafe, the time window just keeps getting smaller and smaller. 

***

“Are you ready?” His mother asks.

It’s about the third time that she has asked this question. The first time was this morning before she went into work. The second was over dinner when Minho was pushing his food across his plate. And this is the third time; sitting in the car on the way to Insomnia.

Minho is sitting in the passenger front seat staring intently out the window. His mother is driving him, her eyes flickering between him and the road. Minho instead is staring at the sky and the faint outline of the stars that he can see between the street lamps. He’s not ready; his mind is a nervous wreck, but he’s good at pretending.

Or he used to be at least. 

“Honey?” His mother prompts.

Minho turns his gaze from the dying stars and to his mother. She’s biting her bottom lip and her fingers are tapping nervously on the dark leather of the steering wheel. She’s probably as worried as him. Probably hoping for good outcomes. Because everyone seems to think this will help Minho. That he’ll be fixed if he does this.

And even if he doesn’t think this way, well Minho is going to do his best to make sure his mother will at least feel better about what’s happening. “I think so,” he says.

His mother nods, her eyes focusing on him for a split second before turning back to the road. One more turn and they’ll be there. One more turn and Minho will have to deal with the unknown once more.

“Sweetie, stop scratching at your arms otherwise they’ll bleed,” his mother suddenly says.

Minho startles before staring at his arms. Ragged red lines rake over his forearms from where he had absentmindedly been scratching at his skin for who knows how long. An old nervous tick he never truly got over. It takes some effort, and sitting on his hands, but he calms himself enough to notice they’re now in the parking lot.

His mother pulls into an empty parking space before carefully putting the car in park. She turns to look at Minho with a warm smile. “Call me if you need anything and I will be right here to pick you up. No matter what time it is,” she tells him.

Minho nods, already grabbing for the door handle. “I will mom, but I gotta go. Don’t want to be late.” It’s a lie. There’s still twenty minutes before his shift starts; a result of his mother panicking about being late. 

But she doesn’t call him out on the lie. Just smiles and nods. “Ok, be safe. I love you.”

Minho is already halfway out of the car when he tells her he loves her too. And then he’s moving across the brightly lit parking lot to the glass doors. Above him is an old fashion neon blue sign spelling out the coffee shop. Minho can just hear the electrical hum coming from it when he’s standing right below the sign.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he pulls on the door handle.

A bell rings above him alerting the people at the counter of his entrance. They look at him curiously. One has messy bright mustard yellow hair and mole under one of his eyes, the other has short hair that’s a silvery blue and calculating eyes.

“Um… hi,” Minho stutters out.

“Are you here to order something?” The one with yellow hair asks.

Minho shakes his head. “No. I’m Minho Lee. I start working tonight?” The last sentence is more of a question then a statement, but the one with silvery blue hair perks up.

“Right. You’re the new hire working with Chan,” he says.

Minho nods even though he doesn’t actually know who he’s working with. They both smile warmly at him. “I’ll go get him, and Yugyeom can keep you company while you wait.” The man continues.

The one with yellow hair, Yugyeom shrugs. “Sounds good to me,” he says plainly.

Minho moves closer to the counter as the other male leaves. He takes this time to study Yugyeom. He’s tall, much taller than Minho, but slender. He moves with grace though, Minho notes, and he’s much more handsome up close. “Minho, right?” Yugyeom asks even though Minho introduced himself not even three minutes ago.

Still, he nods. “And your Yugyeom.”

Yugyeom smiles and laughs. “Sorry, I’m not really good at talking to new people,” he says sheepishly.

“You work customer service,” Minho deadpans.

Yugyeom shrugs. “I’m pretty sure my customer service persona is a whole different person.”

Minho gives a small smile. “What’s it like working here?” He asks.

“Depends on the shift, but night shifts are usually pretty boring. The only people who come in are stressed college students needing a caffeine fix from the local community college,” Yugyeom says. “It’s just a lot of cleaning.”

Minho nods. This will be good then. Gives him a schedule with not as much stress as a daytime job would. As long as he can get his work done, that is. “Sounds fun.”

Yugyeom laughs. “I did it for a little bit, but I’m glad to be working my normal shift again.”

“Oh, has the shift been empty for long?” Minho asks.

Yugyeom shrugs. “The guy you're replacing just walked out a few months ago. No notice or anything. Chan seemed really angry about it, but considering he’s the manager of the shift it makes sense.”

Minho feels like there’s more to the story, but he isn’t going to ask. No need to start asking for gossip on his first day here.

“Minho,” someone loudly calls from further behind the counter.

Minho looks up and his breath catches. 

Chan Bang is standing before him with his usually dimpled smile. His hair is now blonde instead of the black he had it in school, and he’s maybe grown a few inches, but he’s still the same person who was the class president for four years in a row during high school.

Minho can’t believe his luck. He’s hoping against hope that Chan won’t recognize him. It isn’t like they actually interacted with each other in high school. Chan was popular, and Minho… well Minho was well known, but hopefully not enough for Chan to remember.

“That’s me,” he says in a quieter voice.

Chan’s eyes show no recognition as he moves closer to where Minho is standing against the counter. “I’m happy that we found someone to hire for this shift. It was exhausting dealing with Yugyeom,” Chan tells him when they’re only a few feet apart.

Yugyeom gives a huff, lightly smacking the other’s arm. “Now you’re just being mean,” he whines.

Minho’s lips quirk. Who knew that the other could act like a giant kid.

“Jabeom wants to see you,” Chan informs the other. “Bambam should be back soon, so I’ll cover until he gets up here. Then I’m going to show Minho where everything is and give him the uniform.”

Yugyeom nods, already moving away from the counter and to a back hallway. Minho watches him leave until he’s out of sight, then he focuses on Chan again. “Hi,” the blonde says again.

Minho involuntarily smiles. “Hi,” he says quietly.

They don’t talk, and Minho stares at his feet. The black of his non-slip shoes stands out starkly against the white tiled floor. It’s interesting enough to keep Minho’s attention until Chan is softly calling his name again. 

When he glances up, Bambam is standing behind the counter once more. Minho notices the way he’s watching Chan and him from the corner of his eye, but when he notices Minho staring, the taller man just gives a smile. “Minho,” Chan says again to get his attention.

Minho turns his gaze to Chan who is smiling in amusement. “Let’s head to the back. I can get you the rest of your uniform, and then get you clocked in and ready for your first shift,” Chan tells him brightly.

Minho nods before following the blonde to the back. Behind the door Chan had stepped out from is a small industrial kitchen, probably for the pastries and easy to make sandwiches that Insomnia will sell along with the drinks. Chan doesn’t stop in the kitchen, instead, he goes to the far end where another doorway stands. Just past that doorway is a hallway, this is where Chan stops.

“The office is to the left. We’ll stop in for a second to get your apron, nametag, and hat, but otherwise don’t go in there alone without permission,” Chan tells him. Minho nods. “And to the right is the stock room and the staff room,” Chan continues.

Then he’s moving again, going left down the hallway toward the office. Minho follows just a few steps behind. At the end of the hallway is a small office, barely large enough for three people to fit comfortably in. There’s a computer and desk on the right wall, and on the opposite is what looks to be a safe and counter area. On the back is a large calendar with various names and shorthand written on it. Yugyeom is leaning against the calendar with a small smile as he watches another man click around on the computer. The stranger's face is obscured by a curtain of wavy black hair, his hat sitting on the desk next to his right hand. 

“Hi, Jabeom,” Chan greets the stranger cheerfully.

The man at the computer, Jabeom, Minho supposes, grunts out a reply. Chan just nods before moving further into the office. Minho chooses to linger in the doorway since there isn’t that much space left in the office.

“Ah, here it is,” Chan says after a moment of searching. 

He grabs a black bundle sitting on top of one of the random shelves in the office before making his way back to Minho. “The crew room is behind you. I’ll come get you in a sec, just have to change the drawer over and get clocked in myself,” Chan tells him.

Minho nods. Maybe getting a second to himself will allow him to breathe a little bit easier. He gives a smile to Yugyeom before turning around and making his way down to the opposite end of the hallway. The ending has two rooms on either side. To his right is the stock room, he supposes, and to the left is the crew room. The room itself is more wide than it is big. There is a counter along the back wall that continues on the short wall to his left. There are three chairs that have seen better days pressed up against the counter from where they are tucked in.

The paint job on the metal chairs is chipping in some places; the black paint coming off to show the silver metal underneath. From where he can see, the cushions seem soft and inviting, even with the dull gray duct tape that seems to hide the bigger holes in the pale blue seat.

At the end of the counter, directly in front of him is a full length mirror that has definitely seen better days. The top right corner has spider web cracking, and the rest of the mirror is covered in finger-shaped smudges. Almost like someone let a toddler play with the mirror before they hung it up. Minho can barely make out his reflection though the smudgeness.

Seeing his reflection, no matter how smudged, only makes Minho’s nerves get worse. So he turn his gaze to the wall to his left. The printed schedule for the week hangs on the wall; a list of names unknown to him. He takes note that of it before moving further into the room to put his bundle down on the white counter. He ignores the stickiness.

Instead, all he can focus on is the way his hands shake. He takes a few breaths, but the shaking doesn’t stop. _I guess I’ll just have to push through this,_ Minho thinks with determination. He will get through this shift if it’s the last thing he does. He cannot disappoint his mother now.

The shakiness doesn’t help when he tries to tie the apron behind his neck. But he feels a sense of pride when it only takes him three tries to get a tight knot. Putting on his hat is easy, even if it does cause his hair to lay flat against his forehead in a way that he figures will become uncomfortable later. It’s the thought of putting on his name tag that scares him. How would he make it to where he wasn’t going to stab himself if his fingers wouldn’t listen to him.

“Need help?” Chan asks suddenly from the doorway.

Minho jerks his head to look at Chan instead of at the mirror he was staring at while trying to gain courage. Chan is leaning against the doorway, his hands tucked into the pockets of his black jeans. He’s dressed in the standard apron and hat now, his own name tag sitting proudly on his chest. _Christopher Bang_ stares back at him with thin black letters, but there is a smiley face written at the end with what looks to be black permanent marker.

He wonders why Chan goes by Christopher here when everyone working seems to call him Chan. But Chan is looking at him expectantly, and that’s when Minho remembers that the other had asked him a question. “Oh, umm…” he says eloquently, wondering how he should answer.

Chan just shakes his head before pushing himself off the door frame and stepping closer to Minho. With steady fingers he takes the name tag from Minho’s own shaking hand. He doesn’t say anything as he maneuvers the apron to make sure he can stick the name tag on correctly. Minho doesn’t say anything; he doesn’t think he could say anything. His breath has been stuck ever since Chan got into his space. He thinks that’s just on account of his fight or flight reflexes kicking in. 

“There,” Chan says quietly, his breath lightly brushing against Minho’s skin from how close he is, “all done.”

And then he’s gone from Minho’s space. He’s once more standing in the doorway giving Minho a dimpled smile. Minho swallows and tries to give Chan a smile back, but he doesn’t think it sits right on his lips. It’s been a while since he last smiled.

Chan doesn’t say anything about the smile, he just cocks his head to the side as he studies Minho. “Ready?” He asks.

Minho allows himself one more look in the mirror. The black apron lays long against his body partially obscuring the black button up and black jeans that are part of the uniform. His sleeves are rolled up, but he’s happy that the red marks from his nails are gone. His hat sits on his head, and it does push his black hair against his forehead in a way that he knows is going to get uncomfortable when he starts to sweat. But at least his name tag sits perfectly on the left side of his chest from when Chan pinned it. 

His eyes are tired, and he was correct; his smile isn’t quite right. But it’s the best it’s going to be for tonight. And he just has to make it through tonight before he can crash in his bed once more. He meets Chan’s eyes in the mirror. “Ready,” he says.

He can see Chan’s smile widen before he heads out of the room. Minho takes one more look at himself before following after. The reality of the situation finally settles into Minho’s bones, but he can’t back out of this now. Not when his mother is depending on this situation to make him better. It’s now or never, and Minho really doesn’t have the energy to run.

He just hopes his hands will stop shaking during his shift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've made it to chapter 2, and Chan is the first character to be introduced.
> 
> Yeah, one can only guess what will happen with the two of them working nights... alone (work. A lot of work, this is a place of work).
> 
> If you've enjoyed this chapter then let me know either with a comment or kudos. I'm excited to hear what people think so far. There's a lot of things I have planned for this story, and I'm excited to get working on it. This has literally been one of my babies for over a year now, so... yeah.
> 
> [Twitter](https://www.twitter.com/queenie_stay)


	3. Chapter Three: Jisung Han

Working at Insomnia was… an experience. Minho is pretty sure that’s the only way to explain his shifts. It wasn’t a bad experience per se, but Minho doesn’t know if it’s a great one either. Working with Chan was nice. He was a good manager. He always made sure Minho knew what he needed to do. He also smiled, a lot, and didn’t necessarily know what personal space was. Which wasn’t bad, and Chan never touched him, but the close proximity was strange to Minho.

But he doesn’t mind. Not when Chan makes sure that Minho is always comfortable. And while that’s nice, the job itself is tiring. The first morning after his shift, Minho fell into his bed and easily fell into a dreamless sleep. He didn’t wake up until his alarm broke through the nothingness. The rest of his shifts and days passed in the same way. And it was nice, if not a little monotonous to him. 

But today is new for him. It’s his first day off since he started. And even though he’s only been working there for four days, as of right now, he’s already grown used to the schedule of waking up, watching cat videos, eating dinner with his family, and then working with Chan. And now, well he doesn’t know what to do.

Which leads him to lay on his worn-out dark brown cloth couch in the living room. One arm is propped under his head, and the other is hanging off the side, his hand resting gently on the cold wooden floor. He’s staring blankly at the T.V., a random brightly colored kids show playing on the screen. It’s mindless enough that Minho doesn’t have to pay full attention to it to know what’s happening.

His phone, which he had been playing on just moments before, lays silent on his chest. He doesn’t expect it to ring. Everyone from college already gave him his well-wishes, and he doesn’t really have any other friends. At least, any friends he keeps in close contact with and would actually know what’s happening.

A loud knock rings in his house. Minho waits for a second, wondering if it’s just the cartoon, but then he hears more knocking. He lifts his phone to look at the time, 4:15 p.m.

He wonders who’s knocking at the door. It’s too early for his parents to be home, and besides, they already have keys. So who could it be? Would he open the door and find someone handing out religious pamphlets? Would it be a high school band student selling chocolate bars? Would it be someone that Minho knew?

He wonders if he should get up and check. He doesn’t think anyone knows that he’s home, so the person knocking shouldn’t expect someone to answer if both the cars are gone from the driveway. He should be able to just stay quiet on the couch and hide.

But then the knocking intensifies until it could almost be classified as pounding. The noise grates on Minho’s nerves enough to propel him off the couch and to the front door. His socked feet make no noise even as he is almost stomping to the same rhythm as the pounding. “I’m coming, you can stop now!” Minho snaps.

The pounding lets up once he’s done, and then he’s wrapping his hand around the golden doorknob and twists it harshly before yanking the dark red door open. His anger fades as his breath catches when he sees the person standing on his porch.

The dyed hair is new, an unnatural shade of blue that glints dully in the autumn sun. the eyes are the same as always, a captivating dark brown that holds questions like they’re stars in the night sky. Questions that Minho has never had the answers to. Even the disappointed twist of his lips is as familiar as Minho’s smile.

Jisung Han is standing outside his house.

It’s strange and familiar at the same time. He remembers all the times Jisung has been outside his door. The times with the bright smiles, the grumpy grumbles, and even the tears.

He’s suddenly reminded of the last time Jisung was standing on his porch. His hair was dark brown and his eyes were teary. He remembers the downturn of his lips as he tried to smile and tell Minho to text him when he got to campus two years ago. He remembers watching Jisung get smaller and smaller in his rearview mirror as Minho left for college.

But then he remembers the many unread texts and frequent long periods of not talking. The calls Minho never made to wish Jisung a happy birthday or even just to ask about the other’s day. He remembers the status he never read or liked. Until finally, all contact just fizzled out. 

Which is why he doesn’t understand why Jisung Han is standing outside his door when they haven’t talked in over a year.

“I thought I saw you,” Jisung says. “I saw your dad unpacking his car, and thought some of the things were familiar, and then I saw you.” The last part comes out accusatory.

And sure, maybe Minho has not been home since he started college, but that's because he was able to intern at a dance studio in the city. He couldn’t tell his professor no when they told him. No matter how much he would want to go home, this would help him be able to get his dream job once he graduates. It was a no-brainer to take the job.

But standing here now, he doesn’t know what to say to Jisung. Should he talk about his internship? Should he tell Jisung what happened? _Yeah, no. I’m back for an indefinite amount of time. How have you been? Sorry, I just straight up ghosted you. Anything new in your life?_

No, Minho couldn’t just say these thoughts. So he blinked instead. A part of him was wondering if Jisung was actually standing before him. A part of his mind couldn’t wrap around the fact that Jisung was here. Why would he be here?

“Wow,” Jisung scoffs, “you’re even going to ignore me in person now. Huh, Minho Lee.” Jisung shakes his head. “Some friend you are, can't even let me know that you’re coming back. Whatever.”

Jisung takes a step back, probably to leave, but Minho decides he can’t let that happen. Not when it’s Jisung who has been around Minho his whole life. Who probably knows Minho better than he knows himself. No, he has to keep him here.

He grabs Jisung’s coat sleeve before the other can back away too far. “Wait. Don’t-” he cuts off, not knowing what to say.

Jisung looks at Minho’s hand, then Minho’s face, and then the blue semi-cloud sky. He looks at the sky as if it will give him all the answers about what he should do. Minho knows that it won’t, the sky has never been kind enough to tell anyone what they should know, but he hopes that just this once it will give Jisung an idea on what he should do. “Fine. Buy me a coffee,” the younger demands.

Minho nods. He ducks back inside for a second to put on his black fall coat and slip on his light blue converse with faded words scribbled on the fabric. He quickly turns the lock after making sure he has his keys. Jisung is standing on the sidewalk by the time Minho shuts the door.

“Ready?” Jisung calls to him

Minho rushes down the front steps and stops by the younger’s side. Jisung blinks at him once before taking off. Minho follows closely behind as they make their way down the familiar path to Insomnia. 

Neither one of them talk on the way to the coffee shop. Minho’s mind goes into overdrive wondering what he should say. How are you? It seems safe, but it also seems wrong to ask. Same with what have you been up to.

In the end, he just decides to stay quiet. He doesn’t want to screw up and say the wrong thing. Jisung also doesn’t seem keen on talking to Minho either. That’s fine, Minho can survive in this silence.

It’s the longest fifteen minutes of Minho’s life.

Stepping into Insomnia is almost more stressful, Minho thinks. But only because it’s strange to him walking into Insomnia and seeing all the tables filled. It’s louder than he’s used to, more crowded, and easier for more people he knows to see him. And Minho doesn’t know for sure if he’s ready for that. But looking around at a coffee shop filled with mostly high school kids who are procrastinating going home and starting homework makes him long for the ghost town he’s used to when he works nights with Chan.

He likes it better when the only people inside the shop are sleep-deprived college students relying on too much caffeine, people who work late nights or early mornings, and the people insomniacs this shop is named after.

Seeing all the high schoolers makes Minho think of when he was in high school, and all the times he came in here for an after school drink and snack. Well, when he used to come in here with Jisung. He glances at Jisung, but the other isn’t looking at him; instead, his gaze is firmly fixed on the menu behind the counter.

“Sungie!” The man at the register cries out.

Minho watches a shy smile spread across Jisung’s face before his gaze moves across the shop and to the worker. He’s tall, definitely taller than Minho, with messy black hair and bright eyes. There’s a mole under his left eye. And he’s looking at Jisung with a wide smile, like Jisung coming in was one of the highlights of his day. 

“Hyunjin,” Jisung greets back as he walks up to the open counter.

Minho follows after a beat. His gaze doesn’t leave Hyunjin’s face, but Hyunjin doesn’t even give him a second glance. He’s sole gaze is on Jisung. “Are you working today?”

And maybe Minho should have paid more attention to that schedule other than searching for his own name. Could this also be how Jisung knew he was home? Did Jisung see his name on the schedule too?

“Nope. It’s my day off, but Minho owes me some coffee,” Jisung easily says, pointing one finger at Minho.

Hyunjin finally turns his questioning gaze to Minho who stands behind Jisung. Minho can see a flash of recognition in the younger’s gaze. “Oh, are you back from college on break?” Hyunjin asks.

Minho purses his lips together. Technically… well, that’s true, but at the same time… it’s not. His college is still in session, though classes are about to be on break for Thanksgiving. It wouldn’t be strange for Minho to be home right now, but he knows that things are going to start looking strange when Minho doesn’t go back after Thanksgiving. 

He doesn’t even know if he’ll be going back for the next semester.

“Yeah,” he says, but he knows it’s been a few moments too late.

He can feel Jisung’s heavy gaze on him, but he turns his gaze to the menu behind Hyunjin. He doesn’t really want to talk about anything that is happening in his life right now. He just wants to get his coffee and maybe hang out with Jisung a little longer. Not answer questions about his life.

“Ok…” Jisung says, elongating the syllables in a way that usually only happens in awkward situations. “Can I have two large caramel macchiatos? One with extra caramel and whipped cream,” Jisung says to Hyunjin.

Minho’s gaze snaps back to Jisung. _He remembers my coffee order,_ Minho thinks. Jisung does not look at him, but he does elbow Minho’s side when the other doesn’t reach out to pay. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he turns back to Hyunjin. “What was the total again?”

Hyunjin gives an amused smile before rattling off the total again. Minho hands over a few dollars and some coins he found in his wallet. Hyunjin keys it into the register before handing Minho back his change. “We’ll let you know when you’re order’s ready,” Hyunjin says. 

Jisung nods before grabbing Minho’s sleeve and pulling him to the end of the counter. Minho watches as Hyunjin sticks the labels onto the cups before handing them off to the person who was making the drinks before going back to the register. “I thought you hated Hyunjin,” Minho says before he can stop himself.

Because he remembers the times he had to pull Jisung away from the taller one when they were younger. He remembers the way Jisung would seethe about him on their weekly movie nights until Minho shoved a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth to shut him up.

But maybe things have changed in the years that Minho’s been gone. He knows better than anyone how easily feelings and moments can change. Maybe something like this happened. With Minho gone, Jisung could easily branch out. Maybe he started talking to more people in his grade, Hyunjin included and they became friends that way.

Or maybe it was just them working together that caused them to grow closer. Minho feels a pang in his heart when he realizes that he doesn’t know what happened, and it’s all because he didn’t try to contact Jisung before. 

Maybe they only became close because Minho wasn’t around.

“Kind of hard to hate someone you have to work with, both in high school and at your job. Plus, he’s not as bad as he used to be. Once you went off to college, we were able to talk more,” Jisung said.

His tone wasn’t accusing, but something in Minho still flinched at the last sentence. “Oh,” Minho says, not really knowing what else he should say to something like that. 

“Minho,” Jisung starts, but he’s interrupted by someone calling out their names for their coffee orders.

Minho takes quiet steps to the counter and picks them up before going back to Jisung. “Want to go for a walk?”

Jisung takes his coffee, glances at Hyunjin, and then back at Minho before nodding. “Sure, let’s go.”

Minho catches Hyunjin’s gaze as he’s leaving the shop. He’s taken aback by the coldness in the younger’s gaze; it’s a full 180 from the joy he had seen when they first arrived. What was Minho missing? Why would Hyunjin look at him like that?

The wind has picked up outside from the time that they’ve been inside. Minho buries himself more into his coat before cursing himself for not bringing his gloves. Jisung stands comfortably next to Minho, sipping his coffee like he has no cares in the world. Minho glares at the younger’s gloved hands.

“You always forget your gloves,” Jisung says with a laugh.

Minho shrugs. “One of these days I’ll just keep gloves in every one of my coats.”

Jisung laughs harder. “You always say that.”

It feels like old times. Minho and Jisung joking about something as pointless as Minho’s gloves, but there are still questions lingering in the air around them as they stand in the doorway of Insomnia. Minho can feel them gathering in the air around them, but his lips stay closed. He doesn’t want to be the one to ruin the mood.

“Come on,” Jisung says, jerking his head to the side to signify it’s time to leave.

Minho follows a step behind the other as Jisung takes off on the familiar path to the park. It’s the same path they used to take when Minho lived here full time. In fact, everything about today is almost like Minho went back in time to when he was in high school and Jisung and he would spend their days together.

But it’s not. Not when Jisung and Hyunjin are friends now, not when Minho is seeing a therapist once a week, and not when there are unspoken questions and answers from both of them. This is what keeps Minho from falling into his mind and letting himself think that he can just be with Jisung. 

“Hey Minho,” Jisung says again.

Minho hums as an answer.

“You’re not actually on break, are you?”

And that’s the question that Minho’s been dreading. But if anyone was going to ask, if anyone was going to demand the truth, then he knew it was going to be Jisung. And he knew that before he even left his house, somewhere in the back of his mind. He knew that he was going to have to admit to someone else that this wasn’t just a visit home.

“No,” Minho says quietly. “Classes are still in session.”

Jisung nods, but he doesn’t say anything else. Minho stares at the uneven sidewalk covered by golden and red leaves under his feet. The wind stings his cheeks from where it pushes against his face, and he shrugs his shoulders up to hide his face more into his jacket. His fingers, a dull red from the cold, are curled tightly around the almost empty coffee cup. He refuses to look up and see how Jisung is looking at him.

He can still feel Jisung’s gaze on him, a question on the tip of his tongue, but Minho doesn’t let him. “Can we not?” He almost pleads instead.

“Ok,” Jisung says. “Let’s just take a walk then.”

It’s quiet between them on the rest of the way to the park. But the sound of the small town is loud to Minho. The cars passing by, the children laughing, and even the adults talking to each other. Everything seems louder than it actually is.

***

The park is blissfully quiet when Jisung and Minho step into it. Parents have probably forced their kids to get out of the cold, and most teenagers would rather hang out in a coffee shop in this cold weather instead of sitting around in the open air. 

The coffee cups are gone, thrown away in the trash can at the opening once they were empty, so Minho has his hands stuffed into his coat pockets to hopefully warm them up. Jisung leads Minho to the swings; a place they always ended up going to whenever they needed to talk or think. Minho, like he’s been doing for most of the day, just follows Jisung's leads.

“Here,” Jisung says. 

He pulls a small red and black bundle out of one of his pockets and lightly throws it to Minho. The older scrambles to catch it, surprised when he sees that the bundle is actually a pair of striped gloves. He looks at Jisung with a questioning gaze. “You’re not the only one who seems to have an aversion to gloves. And your fingers are starting to scare me,” Jisung says with a shrug.

“Thank you,” Minho says quietly before pulling the woolen gloves over his cold hands. They scratch at the sensitive skin, but he ignores the slight pain because he knows that this will give him the relief that he needs. 

Jisung sits on one of the worn-down swing seats. The whole swing set seems to shudder under the weight, but both of them are used to it. The equipment in this playground is older than both of them, probably as old as their parents, and they’ve been playing at this playground since they could walk. Minho stays standing against one of the metal supporting legs of the swing set.

He watches as the metal seems to move slightly as Jisung starts swinging higher and higher. “How have you been?” Minho finally asks; hoping for a second that his words are lost in the wind ringing in Jisung’s ears as the other swings back and forth.

His hope is crushed when Jisung answers him. “Busy, I guess. Last year and everything.” Minho hums, not knowing what else to say. “I’m the class president,” Jisung tells him.

“Woah. That’s so cool, I’m really proud of you,” Minho says with a genuine smile overtaking his face.

Jisung shrugs as best as he can while still holding onto the metal chain link chains that connect the swing to the set. “It’s a lot of work,” Jisung says. “Which I don’t get. Chan never made it seem like it was that much work.”

Minho rolls his eyes. “Chan never makes anything seem like it’s work,” he says.

“You would know,” Jisung tells him.

Minho splutters. “I don’t know what you’re insinuating Jisung Han, but it’s not true.”

Jisung lets his feet drag on the ground to stop himself from swinging. “So you don’t work with him?” He asks with a faux innocent tone of voice.

Minho can feel his ears flush, but he’s glad that he can blame it on the cold wind instead of his embarrassment. “That’s- Jisung!”

And Jisung’s laughing again; loud and bright. Minho watches the younger laugh with a fond gaze. He can almost believe like they’re going to be ok like there aren’t secrets and hurt feelings between the two of them. And when he catches Jisung’s gaze and watches the way his eyes glint like stars at night instead of the questions and hurt that was in them before, he thinks that maybe they can work through this.

“I’m sorry,” Minho says without thinking.

Jisung stops laughing, his face going serious. “It’s fine,” he says quickly.

“It’s not fine,” Minho tells him. 

Jisung sighs before turning his gaze from Minho to the scenery in front of the two. The swings look out at the street. It’s a residential street, and sometimes Minho feels like a creep for looking forward and staring at rows of houses, but he’s gotten used to it after years of seeing children playing in yards and parents cooking outside while he’s been swinging.

“I was really mad at you, at first,” Jisung says, drawing Minho’s gaze back to him. He’s swaying on the swing, his feet planted on the ground, and pushing himself backward and forwards.

Minho allows himself to sit on the swing next to Jisung. The structure groans under the added weight, but they both ignore it. Minho is fixated on Jisung, and Jisung seems to be somewhere in the past. 

“For the first year, I kept wishing and hoping that somehow you would just magically return and we could go back the way we were. Then I just kept hoping that you would just text me, or like my status, or anything to let me know you still cared about me. By the beginning of this year, when you didn’t come home for the summer I just gave up. I didn’t care anymore because what was the point? Hoping and wishing wasn’t going to bring you back. Waiting for your text was useless and staring at your house from my window was pathetic,” Jisung tells him.

Minho opens his mouth to apologize again, but the words die in his throat when Jisung’s strong gaze is now focused on him. “I’ve mostly gotten over it. But really, all I want to know is what happened. What made you disappear from my life?”

And Minho wishes he had a good answer. Wishes that he could tell Jisung something definite that would cure his curiosity. But even with Jisung’s gaze searching his face like it could give him all the answers he ever needed, Minho knows that he won’t be able to give an answer that could ever satisfy Jisung.

“I wish I could give you a good reason,” Minho starts, “I wish I could say it was because I was too busy, or because my number had gotten changed and I lost all my contacts. I wish I could tell you it’s because I liked you romantically and I needed the space to get over it… but none of that would be true.”

Jisung is still staring at Minho, and Minho can’t force himself to look away. “The truth is, I don’t know why I stopped. I don’t know when it stopped being a priority to keep you informed in my life and when everything else took over. All I know is that one day Jisung Han was the most important person to me, and the next I was a horrible friend who didn’t care if my best friend since practically birth was being updated or not.”

Jisung doesn’t say anything, but Minho has never been good at reading the emotions on Jisung’s face. He hangs his head, finally tearing away his gaze. “But I am sorry, and I know it won’t matter. Saying sorry is like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound. It won’t help, and it will only hurt worse later.”

A gloved hand reaches out to Minho, lightly touching his cold cheek. The contact stings against his sensitive wind bitten skin, but Minho wants to lean into the comfort more. He doesn’t allow himself this, not when he doesn’t know what Jisung is going to say, or what Jisung wants.

“You’re not the only one who gave up. I have to admit that I stopped caring too. I stopped texting and calling and liking statuses right along with you. So if anything, that means we’re both at fault.” The hand on his check moves under his chin so it can lift Minho’s face up to face Jisung.

Jisung’s face is open and hopeful as he stares at Minho. Minho waits for the other to say something; too scared to say something wrong and ruin whatever is happening. “So maybe it’s best if we both try again,” Jisung whispers. 

Minho blinks, not knowing what to say. Jisung brings his hand back to himself, dropping it into his lap as he starts to play with his fingers. A nervous tik that Minho knows like the back of his hand. “Unless… well unless you don’t want to,” Jisung says in a quiet voice.

Minho reaches his own gloved hand over to cover Jisung’s fidgeting hands. “Let’s try again.”

Maybe things will end up being ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Jisung and Hyunjin have been introduced! Don't worry, the rest of the characters will be introduced as the story progresses. But I'm excited to introduce the next character in the next chapter.
> 
> I'm also excited to delve deeper into the relationship between Jisung and Minho, and how it's going to grow and change. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. The next chapter will hopefully be coming out next week! I am trying to keep myself on a schedule, but finals as slowly sneaking up on me so I might have less time to write.
> 
> [Twitter](https://www.twitter.com/queenie_stay)


	4. Chapter Four: The Ghost of Insomnia

By the time his two days off are over, Minho’s bad sleeping patterns have caught up to him. He misses the times he could easily fall into his bed and just fall into a dreamless sleep, but now he finds himself staring at the ceiling after a long shift; his eyelids drooping in exhaustion and yet no sleep to be found anywhere. His parents blamed it on the sunlight and gifted him blackout curtains for his window after the first two nights of not sleeping, but even with his room casted in complete darkness Minho cannot find his peace.

“You good?” Chan asks one night when it’s just the two of them standing behind the counter.

Minho is running a sanitized cloth over the countertop to clean up from the day's spills. Chan was wiping down the different machines, but now he’s leaning against the counter next to Minho. Minho keeps staring at the white artificial marble countertop instead of Chan’s warm brown eyes. “Why are you asking me that?” Minho asks. 

He can see Chan shrug from his peripheral vision. “Just seem tired,” Chan muses.

Minho shrugs, picking up the rag and moving away. “I’ll wipe down the table in lobby,,” he tells Chan.

Chan nods. “Ok.”

Minho moves to the far side of the lobby. It isn’t that he wants to get away from Chan, but he doesn’t want to talk anymore. He is tired, has been tired for a long time now, and talking about how tired he is just exhausts him more. He does sneak a few glances at Chan who’s standing at the counter looking at a notebook.

He wonders what it is. There’s a lot that he wonders about Chan. What’s he doing working at a coffee shop instead of being in college? Why does he work the night shift? Does he remember Minho from high school?

Chan looks up from his notebook and locks eyes with Minho. The black-haired boy quickly ducks his head and starts scrubbing harder at the table he was standing at. He can feel his ears growing warmer due to the embarrassment of being caught staring at his manager.

“Min-” Chan is cut off by the ringing of the bell over the door.

Both of them have their gazes snap to the door. A male with dark ripped jeans, red converse, and a red and black plaid hoodie with fleece lining is pushing his way inside. There’s a black baseball cap pulled low over his eyes. His hands are pushed into his pockets and his back is slightly hunched as he shuffles his way toward the counter. Minho follows his figure with his eyes, but he doesn’t move closer.

“Changbin,” Chan says quietly.

The man, Changbin, looks up. His skin is pale and his eyes tired. There are dark bruises discoloring the skin under his eyes. He looks at Chan before looking at the Minho. “Just my usual, please,” he says in a low voice.

Chan nods. “Are you taking it to go?” Chan asks, but he looks like he already knows the answer.

Changbin shakes his head. “No. Here.”

Minho drops his head and continues wiping down the tables. He can hear bits and pieces of the conversation between Chan and Changbin, but he doesn’t move any closer than he has too. Changbin is kind of intimidating, even with how tired he looks, and Minho doesn't think he would be able to handle a full on interaction with the other. Chan has other plans. 

“Oh, this in Minho, by the way. He’s the newest employee,” the manager says brightly.

Minho looks up from his last table and stares at Chan and Changbin. His manager has a finger pointed out toward him, even though it’s not necessary due to only three people being in the shop at this moment. Changbin is looking at him with an inquiring gaze. He must figure out who Minho is though because he can see recognition flare in his eyes.

“Minho Lee?” Changbin asks. “Like Jisung’s friend Minho?”

“You know Jisung?” The question slips out before Minho can stop himself.

Changbin nods once. “Yeah, we’re friends.” 

He doesn’t look happy when he says that sentence. Something protective in Minho rears its head with the thought of Changbin being annoyed with Jisung, but he doesn’t let the feelings show on his face. He can be courteous to Changbin, as long as he’s a customer.

“You know Jisung?” Chan echoes Minho’s question, but this time to Minho himself.

Minho nods. “Yeah. We’ve been friends forever.”

Chan nods a few times. “Oh. I didn’t know that. Did you go to high school here then?”

At least that answers one of Minho’s questions. No, Chan does not remember going to high school with him.

“Of course he did,” Changbin says gruffly before Minho could answer. “And of course you wouldn’t know, all you ever did in high school was play sports and have your nose stuck in some book.”

Minho snorts without meaning too. Chan stares at him with wide eyes. “That’s not true,” he tries to say to defend himself.

“The first time I ever saw you was when you were telling someone off in the hallway for going against the school rules,” Minho tells him honestly. “And the second time was when you were having a full discussion with the teacher about the idea of parallel universes.”

Chan cracks a smile. “So you did go to high school with us.”

Minho nods once. “Yeah, I was a grade below you,” he tells Chan. He looks over at Changbin. “I don’t quite remember you though, so I’m not sure about you.”

Changbin mumbles something under his breath that causes Chan to give him a quick glare. Minho wants to ask what the other said, but Changbin is already talking. “I was a grade below you.”

Minho nods, his mind already thinking about the yearbooks he’s hidden in the top of his closet. Maybe he should bring them down and refresh his memory over some of his former classmates. It might do him good if he’s going to be here for a while. Would cause less awkward encounters due to Minho not remembering them if he did so.

“So, why don’t I remember you going to high school?” Chan asks Minho once more.

Minho shrugs. “Probably because of what Changbin said, but then again I mostly kept to myself.”

He starts moving toward the counter to put his towel back when Changbin scoffs. “He was popular, don’t let him fool you,” he tells Chan. “Captain of the dance team, kept refusing to be a cheerleader, helped the drama department, even got some main parts in the productions. Everyone knew him.”

Minho can feel them both looking at him, but he dutifully ignores them. Thinking of the past brings up memories he wouldn’t like to think about. Honestly, it makes him think of how much he’s changed; and he’s not sure if the change is good or not.

“You did all that?” Chan questions.

Minho nods, not trusting his voice. 

“I’m kind of surprised I don’t remember you then, considering I was class president and would have to oversee most of those things,” Chan muses.

Minho and Changbin make eye contact before shaking their heads at Chan. They both knew why Chan wouldn’t remember him.

Chan wasn’t a bad person in high school; in fact he was everyone’s crush. He was a good class president, always tried to help the students. Gave them some of the best school dances he could, made sure everyone was treated well. He was an even better person. He was always willing to tutor anyone, had a smile on his face and would greet everyone in the hallways. He was the teachers favorite, and while that could annoy some people, most could not find it in themselves to be annoyed by Chan.

But Chan was also a notoriously hard worker who liked to push his limits. If he wasn’t helping someone else then he was practicing for either swimming or soccer, or he was studying himself. He always loved to learn everything that he could, and Minho doesn’t know how many times he saw Chan at the school library just reading a random book that none of the classes in the school were teaching anyone.

“It’s in the past now,” Minho says, turning back toward Chan. “Besides, high school me is almost like a completely different person.”

And that’s true. High school minho was a social butterfly. He wasn’t as popular, or well liked for that matter, as Chan, but most of the school knew him. He liked to help out with the drama departments, and he loved running the dance club, but other than that he mostly kept to himself. The only person he really hung out with was Jisung, and that was because Jisung was used to the way Minho was. 

Going to college gave Minho an opportunity to grow and change as a person. He was able to branch out and meet more people, but other things also happened. Experiences he never thought he would live through. And sure, maybe some of those were getting drunk for the first time, but there were other experiences too. The feeling of not getting enough sleep even after sleeping for over 10 hours, missing classes because he couldn’t be bothered to go, ignoring his roommates concern.

And then coming home.

Minho is not the same person that he was in high school. But he isn’t even the same person he was when he began college. 

Minho looks at his reflection on the silver side of one of the machines. He ignores Chan and Changbin’s conversation as he studies the blurry version of himself. He doesn’t even look real in the reflection. He almost looks like a hazy ghost that only people who squint can see.

And maybe that’s exactly what Minho is. A ghost that haunts Insomnia.

***

Changbin doesn't leave Insomnia for the rest of the night. Instead, he camps out at a corner table staring at his laptop screen in a way that only stressed college students can. Minho doesn’t go near him, instead letting Chan cover his refills and asking if he needs anything else. He doesn't fully know why he’s avoiding Changbin, but something about the stare he gives Minho whenever they make eye contact is unnerving.

“So if you’re friends with Jisung, does that mean you’re friends with the rest of them?” Chan asks when the clock is getting closer to seven.

There’s a few more customers inside the shop by now. Some high school students coming in early to get their caffeine fix and finish homework, college students who are scrambling to finish essays. Most of their customers got their orders to go since they were business people needing something to keep them awake on their drive to work. 

Minho is leaning against the counter, done with everything on his cleaning checklist. Chan had just come back to the front after stepping into the kitchen to put the pastries for today in the oven. He’s leaning backwards, facing Minho with a kind and open face waiting for the younger’s answer.

“I don’t even know who the rest of them are, so I think that should answer your question,” Minho tells him with a shake of his head.

Chan furrows his brows. “But you’re friends with Jisung?”

Minho turns to stare out the window where. It’s still dark outside, a side effect to early mornings in the midwest of America. But the night sky is getting noticeably lighter out; the sky more of an inky blue instead of pitch black. Even the stars are starting to dim. “We weren’t really friends with anyone else when I lived here full time,” Minho admits. “He only started branching out when I went off to college.”

“Oh,” Chan says. “So you haven’t met them then?”

Minho shakes his head. “The last time I knew anything was when Jisung was ready to punch Hyunjin for just standing in his presence.”

Chan laughs loudly in the otherwise quiet shop. Minho can see Changbin look up from his laptop at the commotion. He tries to give the younger a smile, but the dark eyes just turn away when he sees Minho. He tries not to take it personally.

“Weird to think they could hate each other. Like sure, sometimes they argue, but Hyunjin is almost always laughing in Jisung’s presence,” Chan informs Minho.

The black-haired boy allows himself to look over at Chan. “I guess things can change,” he muses. 

Chan nods again. “That’s the beauty of life. Nothing ever stays the same. Everything evolves, even people.”

 _Do people always evolve? Or can they devolve too?_ Minho wants to ask, but he refuses to open his mouth. He might just get asked more questions instead of having his questions answered. “Who else do I have to worry about Jisung introducing me to?” Minho asks instead.

Chan says nothing about the change in topic. “Well there’s Hyunjin, obviously. And then Hyunjin’s best friend Seungmin hangs out with them sometimes, when he’s not practicing for baseball or practicing for choir. Umm.. there’s Felix who’s usually always around Hyunjin, Changbin obviously. He likes to make excuses to hang out with Jisung.” Minho looks back over at Changbin when he hears that. 

If Changbin makes excuses to hang out with Jisung, then why was he so angry to call Jisung his friend?

“Oh, and the youngest, Jeongin can be found with them sometimes,” Chan says loudly, distracting Minho from his thoughts. “Jeongin is basically everyone’s baby, even if he hates it.”

Chan smiles at Minho, and the other finds his smile contagious because he’s helpless to not answer the older with a smile of his own. “Good to know,” Minho says.

“What about you? Any other friends we should worry about coming here?”

Minho thinks about his friends. About Jungkook, a senior in his dance classes who always greets him with a smile. He thinks about the two Hoseoks who run the dance studio he works at, and how they always seem to be around whenever he needs someone to dance with. There’s Ten, and YangYang, and everyone else he’s ever made friends with in the few dance competitions he’s gone to.

But there’s more; people in his classes that he’s befriended during study times. His roommate who dealt with Minho’s weird antics and cat obsession. 

He wonders how they are. Wonders if they think about him. They probably don’t, and Minho thinks he might be ok with that. He was the first one to drop off the face of the Earth first. And they have their own things to worry about; like finals and the winter competition.

“No,” Minho says quietly.

Chan doesn’t say anything even if he stares at Minho for a little bit longer.

“What about you?” Minho asks him, if only to get Chan to stop staring.

“All of my friends are here,” Chan says. “Well, they either work here or live here, so you’ve met most of them. Some are in college right now, but we vaguely keep in touch.”

Minho nods. “Are you in college?”

Chan nods before pulling out the notebook he was looking at earlier from under the counter. “Yup, in my final year of business and marketing. Once I graduate, JYP says I can start taking on more of a role here at the shop. I’ve been making plans on how to help the shop out in my free time.”

He opens the notebook to show Minho a mix of his class notes and business plans for Insomnia. Minho looks over everything with a critical eye. He never thought Chan would be this ambitious over a coffee shop, but he should know by now that Chan doesn’t do anything in pieces. He puts his all into everything.

“Wow. You really thought everything out,” Minho says as he finishes reading some of Chan’s thoughts.

Chan shrugs, the tips of his ears turning a light red. “Well, I don’t know. Insomnia’s always kind of had a special place in my heart, and when JYP started teaching me more about the business I just figured I could work hard and make this place better.”

Minho nods, understanding where Chan is coming from. “I think it’s cool.”

Chan flushes more before putting away his notebook. “And what about you? Where do you go now? What are you learning?”

Minho fiddles with his fingers. “I go to Golden Oak University,” Minho states. “And I’m double majoring in dance education and business. My hope is to open my own dance studio where I can help teach more people about dance, and give them an outlet to be creative.”

He’s waiting for Chan to scoff at his dream; much like anyone else from this town has. In fact, the business degree was “helpful” advice from his parents who probably hoped that Minho would just drop dance education altogether and choose solely business. But in his business classes he was able to realize that he could open his own studio and help foster imagination and creativity that way. And if all else did fail, he had business to fall back on if he ever needed to.

“That’s really cool,” Chan says. “I really hope that you’re able to do that one day.”

Minho turns to look at Chan again who is looking at him with such sincerity that Minho knows he’s telling the truth. It fills him with relief. Someone seems to understand his dream, and they even seem to support him.

“Yeah. It’s gonna be a lot of work, but I actually intern at a dance studio near the university. And the owners are really cool and give me some pointers about what I should do. And they even said that I can work there for a few years after graduation if I need to,” Minho says.

“That’s a really good opportunity. You must be a pretty good dancer if you work at a dance studio already.”

Minho shrugs. “It’s an internship, and I mostly just shadow them and book appointments, but I’m learning a lot so…”

“That’s the best thing you can do though. Like how else would you understand how to run your own studio?” Chan says earnestly. 

Something about the way Chan seems invested in his dreams makes Minho feel better than he has in a while. It’s still not perfect, but he thinks it’s nice to have someone believe in him and uplift him. It’s better than people giving him snide remarks and asking him when he’s going to find a “real” job.

“Can I get a refill?” Someone, _Changbin_ , asks exasperatedly.

Minho startles, not realizing that Changbin was standing in front of the counter. He’s looking at Minho with a raised brow and cold eyes. Minho stares blankly back, wondering what he did to somehow end up on Changbin’s bad side. 

“Coming right up,” Chan says cheerfully before leaving Changbin and Minho alone.

Minho is about to back up and fake an excuse about checking on the food in the back, but Changbin starts talking before he can. “I think it’s cool, what you’re doing. With your degree and stuff,” he says awkwardly.

Minho freezes for a second, blinking twice before the words register in his mind. “Oh…” he says, taken back by the compliment. “Um… thanks.”

Changbin nods with a tense smile. Minho wants to say something else, but Chan is already coming back with a white coffee cup held in his hands; steam rising slowly from the hot liquid inside. He places it on the counter and slides it over to Changbin. “Here you go!” He says with a smile.

Changbin picks up the cup by the handle, blowing on it once before raising it to his lips and taking a gulp of the steaming liquid. He pulls the cup from his lips with barely a grimace from the heat before thanking Chan for the coffee and walking back to his table. Minho watches him leave. 

“Don’t worry about Changbin,” Chan says unexpectedly. “He’ll warm up to you later,” he pauses as if thinking about something. “Hopefully at least, it’s more than likely.”

Minho doesn’t know if he feels better or worse after hearing that. “How long have you been friends with Changbin?” He asks.

Chan pauses and then leans further against the counter looking at Changbin with a fond smile. “Since middle school? He moved in next door and we became fast friends.”

Minho smiles. “That’s cool.”

Chan nods, but Minho can tell he’s lost in thought. “Yeah. I really appreciate him.” He looks at Minho with a sheepish smile. “Would it be weird to say I really admire him. Like Changbin just really tries at everything, and that’s amazing in my book.”

“It’s not weird if it’s true,” Minho says kindly.

“Back to work, there’s only an hour left now,” Chan tells him in a playfully stern way before pushing off the counter and walking through the door to the kitchen. Minho watches him go.

Only an hour left now. And then countless hours staring at the ceiling again. Minho can’t wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've got Changbin!! And more backstory between the main characters.
> 
> I hope that you guys also enjoyed this chapter. I know a lot isn't happening right now, but I think it's best to introduce all the "main" characters before we start digging more into the story because the characters are going to play a big part in what happens.
> 
> Let me know what you think though. I love talking to people about stories and things, but please don't be rude.
> 
> Umm... oh, I also have a playlist for this story. Songs may be added at later dates, but these are some songs I feel like would fit the vibe of the whole story, and the whole universe, as a whole.
> 
> [Official Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4pIWbVHh7UvXpLwZ4jbpUh?si=n_4plwFQTgiRVsQL_ZPb8g)  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/queenie_stay)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/queenie_stay) because why not


	5. Chapter Five: Movie Dates

“How was your Thanksgiving?” Dr. Park asks the Monday after the holiday.

“It was good,” Minho says.

The holiday ended up just being Minho and his parents celebrating together; a last-minute change due to Minho’s unexpected homecoming. Minho slept late, only waking up for the early dinner his mother had been working on for most of the morning. He only knew about the cooking because she had been puttering around in the kitchen when he had gotten home from his Wednesday night shift early Thursday morning.

The dinner was good, and the movies they watched after was nice. Insomnia was closed for Thanksgiving, which gave Minho the time to enjoy the night with his parents.

“Did you do anything fun?” Dr. Park implores.

Minho shrugs. He can almost feel the non-existent sigh coming from his therapist, but he can’t find it in himself to care.

“How about we talk about something else then,” she says instead.

The only problem is that Minho has stopped paying attention at this point, like most of his appointments. Instead, he’s staring out the window at those golden leaves once more. He’s not registering anything he’s seeing though, his mind is still caught up on how Thanksgiving was only a few days ago. The realization that he’s been home for almost a month now has just hit him when she was talking about his Thanksgiving dinner with his parents.

So why does it feel like nothing has changed?

“How’s work?” Dr. Park interrupts his thoughts with a question in a tone of voice he knows means this isn’t the first time she has asked him.

“I like it,” Minho states plainly.

And he does. Chan always seems to know how to drag him into a conversation, the customers are mostly sleep-deprived college students who can’t take their eyes off their books or laptops long enough to be rude to Minho, and the early morning customers are in and out.

The only dark spot is Changbin. But even he’s not that bad. Sure, sometimes he’ll make quiet comments for only Chan to hear which causes the older male to glare at the younger, and sometimes he still looks at Minho like he’s trying to figure something out, or like he’s sizing him up. But he’s not all bad. There are some awkward moments where Changbin tries to give him a compliment and Minho freezes, not knowing what to say.

But there’s something else. There’s something that Changbin is hiding that Minho can’t figure out; nor does he really want to figure it out. He figures that if Changbin wants to tell him his secrets, then he can on his own time. That’s what Minho would want.

The only thing that bothers Minho is trying to figure out the relationship between Changbin and Jisung. Because Chan talks about Changbin and Jisung like they’re always together, but he’s yet to see them interact with each other. And Changbin never talks about Jisung to him.

But that is a problem he can figure out another day.

“Have you done anything fun lately?” Dr. Park asks to draw Minho out of his thoughts again.

Minho shrugs before answering, “I’ve mostly just been working.”

Dr. Park frowns before making a note of something in the ever-present notebook on her lap. “And what do you do on your days off?”

The answer comes a little too easily. “Sleep, mostly.”

Dr. Park lays her pen down and Minho watches as she leans over her notebook enough to put her hands on her knees. “Do you go out? Hang out with friends?”

Minho almost tells her about the walk he took with Jisung. The way they stayed at the park until the sun started to go down, and only then did they finally make their way back to their respective houses. He almost tells her about reluctantly giving Jisung back his extra pair of gloves before giving him one of the most awkward goodbyes ever.

And then he almost tells her about the fears he has. The way he stayed up late staring at the ceiling in his bedroom because he was terrified that everything was going to just be ruined again. But he can’t get his mouth to work. Can’t get himself to admit to her that he doesn’t know what he’s doing when it comes to maintaining relationships of any kind and that it terrifies him that he might end up alone forever.

So he just shrugs before looking at the clock. There are ten minutes left of his session. And it’s ten minutes too long for his liking.

“How about this,” Dr. Park says in a soft voice. “How about you invite a friend over to your house, or you hang out at their house tomorrow since it’s your day off. And you just have a nice movie night. Something simple, but I think having interactions with people outside of your work and family settings will help you out more.”

It sounds simple enough, Minho thinks. “Ok,” he says.

Dr. Park smiles at him. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” She tries again.

And Minho almost opens his mouth to tell her something, anything, but the courage leaves him again. Instead, he just gives a thin smile and a shake of his head. He ignores the disappointment in her gaze as she leans back in her chair. “Is there anything you do want to talk about?”

 _“How do you stop yourself from hurting other people?”_ Minho wants to ask, but he can’t. He’s too scared that the answer will be that he can’t.

Instead, he just shakes his head again and ignores the voice in his head that tells him to say something. Dr. Park doesn’t look surprised, but she does sigh this time. “Ok. Then how about I let you leave early so that you can try to make plans for tomorrow. Sounds good?”

Minho couldn’t leave fast enough.

As he’s leaving he notices the boy with the russet hair and freckles again. He’s sitting in the waiting room this time looking small as he sits in a too big black sweatshirt. His hands are completely covered by the sleeves, but Minho can still see the nervous way they fidget under the sleeves.

Almond eyes meet his gaze and Minho is quick to turn away and hurry through the door. He’s too tired to try and deal with any human interaction at the moment.

**Minnie is cute**

**4:57 pm**

Are you doing anything tomorrow???

**Squirrel Boy**

**4:58 pm**

umm… no???

**Minnie is cute**

**5:01 pm**

Want to have a movie night???

**Squirrel Boy**

**5:02 pm**

ok!! sounds fun!! but no horror movies!!!!

**Minnie is cute**

**5:05 pm**

Cool. Your house. I’ll bring the ice cream.

***

The front door is the same as it has been for as long as Minho can remember, even if the white paint has started to gray and peel from the weather and age. The whole house is the same, actually. The siding is still a light gray, the curtains open to see inside of the house, and the lights are on. Overall, there is a welcoming feel to the house.

So why is Minho scared to knock on the door?

He’s debating just leaving the ice cream on the doorstep before booking it back to his house when the door swings open. Jisung is staring at Minho with an unreadable expression on his face. “You coming in?” He asks.

He grips the plastic bag tighter. Jisung is standing before him, inviting him inside of his house. All Minho has to do is take a step forward. He still can’t find it in himself to move forward. There’s an emotion in Jisung’s eyes; something that he can’t read again before the blue-haired boy steps out of the doorway and toward Minho.

His fingers wrap around the plastic handles of the bag, briefly brushing against Minho’s as he takes control of the bag. Minho lets him take full control of the bag and even lets Jisung grab his hand with his free one. He looks at the entwined hands as Jisung lightly pulls him into the house.

When the door shuts Minho knows there is no going back.

“Come on, my parents helped me set up the living room and connect everything. There are also snacks, and since you brought the ice cream everything will be complete now. I can’t stay up too late since it’s a school night, but my parents said it’s fine if you stay until I head out in the morning. They’re upstairs and said the bottom floor is all ours for the night,” Jisung rambles as he pulls Minho deeper into the house.

Minho half listens as he makes note of the changes that happened inside the house. There are more pictures hanging on the walls, different ones than Minho is used to. There’s still pictures of him and Jisung through the ages, but now there’s also pictures of Jisung and Hyunjin. And pictures of Jisung and a boy he thinks might be Seungmin, if only because of the baseball uniform he wears in some of the photos. Another one looks younger than Jisung, but he doesn’t recognize him. And lastly, there is another boy, and something is familiar about him, but Minho can’t figure out what.

He’s forced to stop thinking about the pictures when Jisung forcibly sits him down on the worn-down gray couch. “Sit. Stay,” he says in a faux stern voice.

“Woof,” Minho replies back without thinking.

Jisung cracks a smile at his response before turning around. Minho watches as he pulls the ice cream out of the bag and onto some paper towels laid out on the coffee table to catch the water that’s already starting to gather around the packaging. Then Jisung is moving again, turning off the lights and grabbing the remote. He only settles down next to Minho once he brings the coffee table into arms reach. “What are we watching?” He asks.

Minho smiles at Jisung. The younger seems to be putting in a lot of effort to make sure this night goes well and that Minho is comfortable. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve having Jisung willingly try to create a space for Minho in his life again, but he doesn’t want to screw it up.

“Disney,” Minho says after a moment.

“You and your Disney obsession,” Jisung mutters, but he still pulls up Disney+ and goes to the movie section. Even without asking, Jisung easily picks Minho’s favorite movie.

“You remembered,” Minho breathes out.

“Of course,” Jisung says quietly.

And then he leans back on the couch, his side pressed comfortably against Minho. Minho looks at Jisung who is staring at the tv as the narration starts to ring out.

_“Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. But then, one winter's night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away, but she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman's ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart, and as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast, and placed a powerful spell on the castle, and all who lived there…”_

Minho tears his gaze from Jisung and the way the tv casts lights and shadows across his face and instead turns to look at the animated movie playing as the Beast starts to destroy everything in the castle.

***

They’re watching Mulan now, singing the songs as quietly as they can to not disturb Jisung’s parents. Right now Jisung is standing on the love seat on the other side of the living room from the couch, singing to an audience of only Minho about a girl worth fighting for. Or he was until a hesitant knock on the door silences him.

He looks at Minho for a second, probably wondering who’s knocking on his door before the knock rings out again. Carefully he steps down from the love seat and navigates his way around the mess the two of them made to get to the front door.

“Who’s- Hyunjin?” The hushed, confused voice of Jisung asks from where he stands.

Minho turns his head to get a limited view of the front door and Jisung. The other is fidgeting on his feet, probably nervous from wondering why Hyunjin wanted. Minho has to say, he’s also curious as to why the other boy is standing on Jisung’s doorstep at 11:30 pm.

“I’m sorry,” Hyunjin says quietly. “I know that you and Minho are having a movie night, but I’ve been trying to write my paper for the last few hours and I’m just getting more stressed. And Seungmin is out with Felix right now, and Chan’s working. But I texted him and he said he could help, but my parents won’t let me go to Insomnia this late at night alone. And when I called Changbin he texted me and said that he’s working late tonight. So I had to come to you because I really need help and this paper is due tomorrow and I’ve been working on it for a week.”

There’s something more to it, Minho is pretty sure there is when he sees the conflicted look on Jisung’s face. But when Jisung looks at him and then back at Hyunjin he can also see the indecisiveness on his face. “Hyunjin,” Jisung starts.

“We can go with you,” Minho says quickly before Jisung can deny him.

Hyunjin looks at him shocked and Jisung looks worried, but Minho just smiles. “I guess we can go then,” Jisung says with a sigh.

Hyunjin gives them both a relieved smile as Minho pushes himself off the couch and toward the door. He slips on his converse and his coat as Jisung does the same. Minho walks out of the door first and follows Hyunjin down to the sidewalk as Jisung locks the door and turns off the tv.

“I’m sorry,” Hyunjin says quietly without looking at Minho.

Minho still smiles at him even if the other can’t see it. “It’s fine,” he reassures the other.

Hyunjin nods even though he doesn’t look like he believes Minho. “I’m glad you’re talking to Jisung again,” the other says quietly.

Minho thinks back to the glare that Hyunjin gave him as he exited the coffee shop the first time he met the other. And he really wonders if Hyunjin is happy. Or if he’s just saying that. And then he wonders if there is something Hyunjin isn’t saying.

“I’m glad too,” Minho says a second too late.

Luckily, they’re saved from their awkward and stilted conversation by Jisung appearing on the sidewalk. “Let’s go so we aren’t there all night,” the youngest of the three says.

Minho allows the two younger to lead the way to the coffee shop as he falls behind and watches them. Their heads are put together as they have a quiet conversation together. Minho can’t make out the words, but he can make out the cadences of their voices. It’s lulling in a way he never expected. He eyes the knitted hats, purple for Hyunjin and red for Jisung, with envy as his ears start to turn cold and red in the late November air. He hadn’t been expecting to leave Jisung’s house in the middle of the night, but here they are.

He stays zoned out until he sees the neon lighting of the sign of Insomnia. He watches the way the neon blue light dances on Hyunjin’s and Jisung’s faces in a mesmerizing way. He keeps his eyes on the lights and the shadows and the way they dance across the skin as Hyunjin pushes open the door.

Chan is standing behind the counter with his head bent low. Minho knows now that this is what happens when Chan is reading his textbooks from where they’re propped up on the counter. There’s barely anyone inside the coffee shop. Just a small group of what Minho assumes is college students huddled around one laptop talking in harsh whispers.

 _Probably a group project that procrastinated,_ Minho thinks.

He wonders where the person covering his day offs is. Is it really just Chan working alone? Or was the other person doing dishes in the back? He hopes it's the latter.

“Chan!” Hyunjin shouts when he sees the other.

The bleach blonde hair male looks up at the group when he hears Hyunjin. “Hey, guys. Jaebeom is working with me tonight, so I’m about to go on break. If you’ll find a table first, I’ll go join you.”

Hyunjin nods before looking at Jisung and Minho nervously. Minho notices the other’s eyes are mostly focused on him. “I can sit somewhere else if you want,” Minho tells him. “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

The immediate relief that fills Hyunjin’s eyes is hard to miss, even with Minho’s obliviousness. “Would you mind?” He asks.

Minho shakes his head. “Nah. I’ll buy a drink and sit by the window. I know I don’t like it when people are staring over my shoulder while I’m struggling.”

“Thank you,” Hyunjin says sincerely before he makes his way to a back corner table.

Jisung stands with Minho. “Do you want me to sit with you?” He asks.

Minho shakes his head again. “You don’t have to,” he tells him sincerely.

Jisung hesitates for a second before following Hyunjin to the back counter. Minho makes his way to the counter where Chan is still standing. “Hey,” Chan says when Minho reaches him.

“Hey,” Minho says quietly back.

“So why are you here?” Chan asks. “It is your day off.”

“I was watching movies with Jisung when Hyunjin came over,” Minho explains. “So I kind of got dragged here.”

“That sucks,” Chan says empathetically.

“Really, I’m just upset we didn’t get to finish Mulan,” Minho tells him honestly.

Chan quietly laughs. “That is a true shame. Mulan has some of the best songs.”

“It really does,” Minho agrees with him.

“What else can I do for you? I know you didn’t just come up here to talk about movies with me.”

“An iced americano please,” Minho says.

Chan nods ringing him up, but as Minho is reaching into his pocket for his wallet, Chan stops him. “It’s on me,” he says quickly. “Just go sit down and I’ll bring it out before I go over to Hyunjin.”

Minho shyly nods before pushing away from the counter and finds a table near one of the windows. It looks out over the parking lot, but even with the lights, he’s able to slightly see the stars. It’s a clear night and Minho might lose himself a little as he stares at the stars and starts to think.

A drink is set down in front of him; the noise jolting him out of his thoughts. “Here,” Chan says with his same bright smile that he seems to give all the customers.

“Thank you,” Minho says with a small smile.

Chan’s smile grows brighter for another second before he leaves the table and makes his way to the back corner. Minho watches him leave and sit with the two younger males. Hyunjin looks at him with a bright, but stressed, smile and Jisung greets him joyfully.

Minho turns away from that table to instead stare at his drink as he mindlessly stirs the straw around slowly. It’s been a while since he’s felt this left out, and old habits are wanting to resurface. He takes a large gulp of his drink before they can start speaking in his mind again. It’s going to be ok. There are some things that he can’t be a part of, and that’s ok.

Still, he ends up looking over at the table to already see Chan staring at him. He quickly snaps his head away from the table and toward the window instead. He can feel the flush cover his cheeks from his embarrassment of being caught staring.

The bell over the door rings and Minho looks up. Changbin enters the coffee shop looking worn out and extremely tired. Minho watches him as he makes his way to the counter and orders something. He even watches as Changbin surveys the coffee shop, his eyes landing on the back corner where Hyunjin and Jisung are huddled together with Chan over a laptop. He can see the way his gaze seems to grow softer, but it grows harder when his gaze meets Minho. Unlike with Chan, Minho doesn’t turn his gaze away.

Jaebeom hands Changbin his drink, and the other immediately starts walking to Minho’s table. “What’s got you sitting all alone over here?” He asks.

Minho shrugs, pointing with his chin to the table Jisung sits at. “My movie night partner left me for someone else,” he jokes.

Changbin looks at Jisung and with an unreadable expression. “Oh,” he says quietly.

“Are you just getting off work?” Minho asks, hoping to at least keep Changbin around for a few more minutes.

Changbin nods. “Yeah. I went home and got changed. I’ve got some work to do,” he says.

It’s only then when Minho notices the laptop bag hanging over Changbin’s shoulder. “Oh,” he says.

They easily fall into an awkward silence together. Minho keeps stirring at his drink and Chagbin sips his own. No one says anything else. At least until the bell over the door rings again and everyone looks up. “Felix?” Changbin calls out to a shaking male standing in the doorway with someone else.

But Minho is still frozen as he looks at him with his pale skin, painted on freckles, and russet-colored hair.

“Felix?” Chan calls out and Minho watches as he rises up from the table he’s sitting at and makes an aborted step toward him.

Minho feels like something is falling and shattering as he makes eye contact with Felix who stares at him with recognition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween!!
> 
> This wasn't exactly the story I wanted to update on Halloween since I do have a spooky one-shot that I wanted to post, but it's not done yet and I'm at my dad's house where I have very limited internet. But I was happy to be able to finish this and post it while at my friend's house.
> 
> And whoo, we got Felix and Seungmin at the very end! I feel kind of bad just ending it there, but I know that this was the best possible place to end it. 
> 
> I hope you guys keep enjoying this story!
> 
> [Twitter](https://www.twitter.com/queenie_stay)  
> [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4pIWbVHh7UvXpLwZ4jbpUh?si=KaXZciheQNKLsbC3O7KiuQ)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/queenie_stay)


	6. Chapter Six: The Boy With the Freckles

Everything seems to move in slow motion, or at least it does to Minho. Changbin setting his drink down before seeming to rush to Felix and the other male. Chan, who seems more frantic than the others, moving quickly to stand in front of Felix. He brings his hands up to Felix’s cheeks and slightly shifts his head to look at him. But Felix’s gaze is still locked onto Minho instead of Chan. Minho can only stare back at the almond gaze helplessly.

“Are you ok?”

Jisung’s voice knocks him out of his thoughts and everything seems to snap back to moving at the correct time. Minho turns his gaze from where Hyunjin is now standing next to Chan and talking quietly, and instead toward Jisung who is standing at his shoulder.

“I’m fine,” Minho says with his best customer service smile.

Jisung seems like he isn’t convinced, but he also doesn’t push him on the matter. “Did you want to head out? I don’t think we have to stick around,” he says instead. “We can go back home and finish Mulan?”

He looks hopeful as he says it, like the only thing he wants to do is go back to his movie night with Minho, but when Minho turns his gaze back to the newcomers he sees the other male walking toward them. “I think someone else is coming,” he says.

Jisung looks over and smiles. “Seungmin!” He shouts happily.

The male, Seungmin, gives a small smile toward Jisung before sinking into the chair across from Minho. Minho gives him a lazy look, wondering just who this person is and why he is casually sitting down in front of him. He has shaggy black hair that falls into his dark brown eyes that stare at Minho coldly. “You’re Minho, right?” He asks in a way that Minho knows was meant to be rhetorical.

“That’s me,” he says anyway, straightening up in his chair. 

“So you’ve finally decided to come back then?” Seungmin asks.

“Seungmin,” Jisung warns, but both the males at the table ignore him.

“Were you really that worried about me coming here?” Minho asks instead of answering.

“More like thinking that you wouldn’t ever actually come back,” Seungmin says.

“Seungmin,” Jisung hisses out. “Stop it now.”

Seungmin turns his heavy gaze from Minho and toward Jisung. They seem to have a silent conversation before Seungmin rolls his eyes and leans back in his chair. “It’s nice to see you back,” he says in a low insincere voice.

Minho knows that there is definitely something that he missed in his time being away. In fact, the only person who seemed truly happy to have Minho back was Chan, and Chan didn’t even know him before he left. He turns to look at Jisung who isn’t even looking at him or Seungmin. Instead, he is looking ahead at the group that has migrated to a table next to the door. Chan, Felix, and Hyunjin are all sitting down while Changbin is standing just behind Hyunjin with his hand on the other’s shoulder. Jisung’s gaze seems to be fixed on that point of contact between Hyunjin and Changbin.

“So what is the reason you’re back?” Seungmin asks, effectively bringing Minho’s attention back to him.

“Personal reasons,” Minho almost snaps out.

Seungmin’s eyes widen. “No reason to bite my head off. You haven’t come back for any breaks since you started college.”

He wonders how Seungmin knows that. “I have an internship in the city,” Minho tells him. “I usually stay and work there.”

“And you’re not doing that this year?” The other asks with a tilt of his head.

Minho curses himself. He’s divulging more information to this stranger than he has ever wanted to. He stubbornly turns his head to stare out the window once more. Seungmin doesn’t say anything, but he can see the younger fidget in his chair in light of Minho’s silence. 

“Hey Minho,” he hears Chan call out.

Minho turns to look at his manager who is making his way over to the table. Felix is only a few steps behind him. The dark haired male tries his best to not look at the freckled boy, but every few seconds his gaze will slide over to Felix before snapping back to Chan. “Yes?” He asks.

“Could you do me a huge favor?” Chan asks almost sheepishly.

Minho blinks at him slowly. “What favor?”

“I have to stay here obviously, but I was hoping that you might be able to walk Felix home?” He requests.

“Why me?” Minho asks, taken aback by the request.

Both Seungmin and Jisung also look confused. “Umm… Felix asked for you specifically. I didn’t know that you guys knew each other,” Chan says awkwardly.

Minho turns his wide-eyed gaze over to Felix. The boy stares at him intently, but he doesn’t speak up. “We don’t really,” Minho says sincerely.

Chan shrugs. “I don’t know, he was just asking. You can obviously say no.”

Minho doesn’t turn his gaze from Felix, but he has to admit that his curiosity is getting the best of him. “I can walk him home, but only if Jisung doesn’t mind me cutting our movie night short.” He turns to Jisung at the end of the statement.

The younger shrugs. “I don’t mind,” he says.

“I can walk you home,” Changbin suddenly says, only a few steps away from their table. Hyunjin is still sitting at the table next to the door staring at the small group with a narrowed gaze. Minho ignores him in favor of watching Jisung.

Minho watches in fascination as Jisung seems to jump at the other’s voice and then his eyes widen when he realizes who volunteered to walk him home. “Oh.. well. Yeah. Umm. Ok,” he stutters out.

Minho smiles when he sees the slight red dusting on the younger’s ears; practically invisible unless you were looking for it. He catches Seungmin’s gaze when he turns to look at Felix again. The younger looks at Jisung then back at Minho before rolling his eyes fondly. He thinks he can catch him mouthing something like idiot. A part of Minho wants to laugh and agree with him, but another has decided that he doesn’t like the way that Seungmin looks or talks to him when he wants personal information and refuses to do anything like that.

“Well since that’s figured out. I’m going to go back to helping Hyunjin,” Chan says.

Minho looks back at Hyunjin once more and catches him giving Felix an unreadable look while his body language screams about how he’s miserable. He wonders what the story is behind the two of them. But before he can even try to figure it out, Felix speaks up. “Are you ready?”

His voice is deeper than Minho expected. It doesn’t match the delicate features of his face, or even the delicate way that he’s built. His voice sounds like it belongs to someone else entirely, but somehow it just adds to his charms. “Ready,” Minho replies with a forced smile.

And then he’s pushing away from the table, giving Jisung a quick hug goodbye, Changbin an awkward wave, and completely ignoring Seungmin who also ignores him. Felix is the first out the door and Minho follows closely behind. He wonders what is waiting for him on this walk home.

***

“Minho, right?” Felix asks once they’re at least a street away from Insomnia.

Minho nods, shoving his hands deeper into the pockets of his coat. He should probably invest in gloves to stay in his pocket if people are still going to be dragging him out of his house at random times without giving him the chance to prepare for the weather. “Isn’t it strange to be asking for my name when you’re the one who asked for me to escort you home?” He still asks.

Felix gives a low chuckle and ducks his head. “To be completely honest, I just didn’t want one of them to do it.”

And Minho thinks he could understand. Sometimes you just want somebody who doesn’t know you to be the only one near you; at least then they don’t know what happened and it makes it easier for you to sort your mind out. He knows he feels better when he can just be, where he doesn't have to put on a mask and act like he’s fine in front of the people who might know him better than he knows himself at this point. 

“I get that,” Minho says quietly.

Felix turns to look at him, his dark almond eyes searching Minho’s face much like Jisung’s eyes do. He wonders if they are able to find the answers to the questions they don’t ask, or if like Minho himself, he can never find the answer that he seeks.

“Do they know?” Felix asks.

Minho turns his gaze away, instead looking at the dark windows of the houses that line the streets. He wonders how late it must be, but he cannot find it in him to bring his phone out to check the time. Not knowing almost makes the night seem less real, like no matter what Minho speaks the universe won’t listen and maybe the truth can stay hidden a little longer.

“Know what?” He speaks into the still night; playing dumb like that could help him.

But Felix’s gaze does not leave the side of his face and Minho can feel it burning him. He still refuses to look at Felix, refuses to let the other see any more of the parts he is trying so desperately to hide. He catches glimpses of himself in the windows of the houses that almost touch the sidewalk. But he still can’t make out his features. Just more questions he will never find the answers too.

“Know that you see Dr. Park?” Felix asks.

Minho admires the way that he refuses to play Minho’s games. He almost looks at the other, almost allows Felix to catch a glimpse at the truth, but he refuses. “No,” he answers instead.

“Does anyone know?” The question is quiet in the still air.

“My parents do,” Minho says. He allows himself to look at Felix again. He can feel his lips pulling into a sad impersonation of his customer service smile, but he just wants this conversation to end. Wants Felix to stop asking questions Minho doesn’t want to give the answers to.

“Anyone else?”

Minho shakes his head.

“Does anyone know why you came back?” Felix asks.

“They know as much as I tell them,” Minho answers cryptically.

Felix raises a brow. “And does anyone know everything? Or do you just tell certain parts to certain people?”

Minho has had enough of the questions. “Please, let’s stop here,” he says instead.

Felix raises his gloved hands in surrender before giving a smile. “Ok, but talking might help,” he says.

“What would you know?” Minho almost spits out. The questions have frayed his nerves enough to just be tired of talking. He just wants to walk in silence.

“I know that it’s scary to talk about what’s inside of your head,” Felix says. He turns away from Minho. “And there are some things you will never say to another living soul, but others…” he trails off, a smile spreading slowly across his face. “Other things you will tell someone, tell the universe, and you may just be able to finally work out what’s in your head.”

Minho deflates. Answering some of the questions in his head sounds like a dream come true, but how is he supposed to speak of what happened when sometimes he doesn’t even understand at all. He can see it in his head; see the way everything seemed to fall apart, but he can’t pinpoint one singular event that started it all. Everyone wants to know what happened, but how can Minho answer that question when he doesn’t even know himself?

“Take your time,” Felix says suddenly. Maybe he sensed the shift in the air, the way Minho retreated more into his mind. Or maybe he knew exactly what was happening. He is also seeing Dr. Park, Minho reasons, he must know what it’s like.

“I’m sorry,” Minho mutters. “Sometimes there are just things I never want to say to a stranger.”

This time Felix barks out a laugh. “I completely understand,” he tells Minho. “Some things are just too big to be spoken to someone you have never met before.”

They walk a little farther in silence once more until Felix opens his mouth to speak. “What is it like? Going to college?”

Minho sharply inhales as memories flood his mind. He thinks of late night dance practices and laughing so hard he has to lay on the floor until he can breathe again. He thinks of the late night snack runs, and the endless supplies of skittles he had stored in his room from the on campus cafe. He thinks of the classes and the group projects. But then the memories he’s tried so hard to run from crash into the forefront of his mind. The burn going down his throat, the footsteps, and the tears.

He shakes his head hard; almost like he believes he could shake the memories permanently from his own mind if he shakes it hard enough. “Minho?” Felix asks quietly once he notices the other’s state.

“College is college,” Minho bites out once he lets his head fall slack. “It’s neither here nor there.” He pushes past Felix and continues walking on the uneven sidewalk.

Felix wisely follows behind quietly. “I’m sorry,” he says after a few seconds. 

Minho sighs. “It’s fine. Where even is your house?”

“Here,” Felix says, stopping abruptly. 

Minho comes to a halt and stares at the house they’ve stopped in front of. It’s bigger than Minho’s house, although it is still only two stories. The porch light is on, but the windows are all dark. He can just make out the pale blue siding from the faint light of the streetlights. It looks warm and inviting, even in the coldness of the night. 

“Thank you for walking me home,” Felix says.

He’s rocking back and forth on his feet, his gaze moving between the house and Minho like he doesn’t know what to say or do. Minho smiles before rolling his eyes fondly. “It really wasn’t a problem, but it is freezing cold outside, so you should head in,” he tells the other.

Felix nods, but doesn’t move any closer to the house. “You’re not what I expected,” he says instead.

Minho furrows his brows and tilts his head to the side as he looks at Felix. “What?” He asks.

“I don’t know. Jisung made you out to be this larger than life character,” Felix elaborates. “Almost like you were this untouchable being, and it was scary not going to lie.”

Minho snorts. “Jisung has an active imagination,” he deadpans. “I’m just a person.”

Felix gives Minho a look, and while Minho knows what Felix is trying to convey, he refuses to decipher that look. “A person who seemingly disappeared,” Felix muses. He’s looking at his house once more, but Minho knows this isn’t the end of the conversation. “I know you don’t want to talk to me about what happened,” he says quietly, “but I’m sure Jisung would listen.”

Minho sharply inhales. “No. I can’t do that to Jisung. I-” he cuts off trying to find the right words. “I left him, I disappeared off the face of the Earth,” Minho says finally. “How am I supposed to just come back and dump all my problems on him?”

_How could I come back just to ruin our friendship once more before we were even given a chance to start again?_ Minho wants to say, but he doesn’t.

He thinks Felix might have heard him anyways with the way he shrugs. “I’m not saying you have to, but I honestly don’t think Jisung would mind if you did. He-” Felix cuts off taking a deep breath before continuing again. “He really cares about you.”

Dark almond eyes stare at Minho like they’re wishing for Minho to just know what Felix is talking about. Minho turns his gaze away. “I know,” he says quietly.

And what he’s admitting to know, well that will stay between Minho and the universe. “Now head inside,” Minho says in that same quiet tone. “It’s getting colder out.”

Felix sighs before nodding. “Be safe getting home,” he says as he starts to make his way inside.

Minho tells him ok and watches as the boy with the freckles makes his way down the driveway and up the stairs. He doesn’t leave until Felix has slipped inside the front door and the porch light gets turned off. He stands in the darkness of the night for a few seconds before turning the way he came and starting to walk toward his own house.

He wonders for a second, just a brief second, if he should stop by Jisung’s house, but he’s far too exhausted to try and pretend like he’s anything but tired. _Besides_ , he thinks, _I don’t even know if Jisung will be home._ He is starkly reminded of the red dusting of Jisung’s ears when Changbin had volunteered to walk him home. 

He sighs, staring up at the sky and trying to make out the dying stars through the sporadic light of the streetlights. He begins to count, a trick he learned to calm his mind as his thoughts become too fast and too loud. _One,_ he thinks, _two, three, four…._

Inhale and exhale. One foot in front of the other. There are no footsteps, there is no crying. It’s just Minho alone in the cold staring up at the stars and wondering where everything changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, but I have finally found the motivation and will to finish writing this chapter. And I'm actually kind of happy with how it turned out, and we got to finally introduce Seungmin and Felix! Ah!! And more clues have been introduced about Minho and the past.
> 
> It's my finals this weekend and then I'm leaving campus, but I will try to post an update as soon as I can. I really hope that you guys are still enjoying this story!
> 
> [Twitter](https://www.twitter.com/queenie_stay)   
>  [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4pIWbVHh7UvXpLwZ4jbpUh?si=AIUZPmYJRBq_tr7dLExXfA)


	7. Chapter Seven: Conversations

**Minnie is cute**

**3:37 pm**

Sorry for cutting our movie night short

**Squirrel Boy**

**3:37 pm**

that’s ok!!!!

we could finish next week???

**Minnie is cute**

**3:52 pm**

Ok

***

Minho sighs for what is probably the fourth time in the last hour. Usually, Friday nights are more lively, but tonight the shop is completely dead. There’s only one other person in the shop, besides Minho and Chan, but they’re curled up in a corner booth with their headphones on and laptop in front of them. It looks like they're furiously typing what Minho would believe to be a final paper. They only stop to get a refill of a highly caffeinated drink that they probably shouldn’t be drinking this late at night whenever the cup in front of them runs empty.

“That bored?” Chan suddenly asks from beside him.

Minho jumps, his breath catching as his heart rate quickens. He is quick to turn his gaze from the lone customer to his manager beside him. “Oh my God!” He spits out. “You can’t just sneak up on people.”

Chan had been in the office for the past 30 minutes doing manager things while Minho cleaned everything upfront. Twice. It’s reasonable for Minho to not have expected Chan to be upfront; much less right behind him.

At least Chan has the decency to look apologetic as Minho stares him down. “Sorry,” his manager says quietly. “I thought you heard the door.”

Minho has to admit, the door between the front counter and the kitchen is usually pretty loud when you’re standing as close to it as Minho is. Chan had said it was a purposeful idea from the owner, a man Minho had only met once and who told Minho to call him JYP, because there would be fewer cases of an accident happening if people knew when the door was opening. Minho doesn’t know how well it works, but he isn’t going to say anything about it.

But Minho is still shaking and fired up from the scare Chan had mistakenly given him. “Well obviously I didn’t,” he states.

“Yeah, I figured that out,” Chan tells him with a ghost of a smile.

Minho rolls his eyes, but Chan continues speaking. “Why don’t you take an hour break. We’re dead and labor is getting high.”

Minoh looks at Chan and then the almost empty lobby before nodding. “Ok, but if you need me just shout,” he tells him as he makes his way to the back.

***

Minho is making his way back to the front when he hears hushed voices in a conversation just past the kitchen door. He’s about to push his way to the front when he hears Chan clearly.

“Are you ok?” Chan asks, but who is he talking to?

“I’m fine,” the other person huffs out.

“You’re really not,” Chan tells them.

Minho wants to peek out and see who Chan is talking to, but something keeps him quiet and hiding in the kitchen. From where he stands he’s able to hear a bitter laugh come from the other person. “I have to be,” they say hoarsely. “She’s back in the hospital and, well…”

Minho hears Chan sigh. “Is there anything I can do?”

There’s a pause before the other person answers, “no.”

“Go get some sleep, Changbin,” Chan wearily says. “You won’t be of any use to anyone if you don’t sleep.”

“I can’t,” the other person, _Changbin_ , says in a tired voice, “there’s still a lot I have to do.”

Minho can hear Chan sigh again. “I swear to God, Changbin if you don’t leave I will call Hyunjin to drag you home and stay with you until you go to sleep,” Chan threatens.

“I’m not scared of Hyunjin,” Changbin huffs out.

“Then I’ll call Jisung,” Chan threatens again.

It’s silent for a few moments and Minho wonders if he should go out, but then Changbin speaks up again. “Don’t. He doesn’t need to know about this. There’s already enough on his plate right now.”

“You know he’s going to find out eventually, right?” Chan asks quietly.

“It doesn’t matter,” Changbin says in a weary voice.

“Go home at least,” Chan tells him. “Go home and get some sleep.”

Minho doesn’t hear anything else until the bells ring over the door. He waits a few more moments until pushing his own way to the front. Chan is leaning against the counter with a contemplative look on his face.

He looks up when he hears Minho come in. “Oh, hey.” the smile on his face is not his usual one, it’s barely even his customer service smile, but Minho doesn’t want to push.

He knows what it’s like when people push you to talk about things that you’re not ready to talk about. Instead, he just gives his own customer service smile and says, “hey.”

The silence is more awkward than Minho would think. But Chan is quieter than usual and Minho is stuck on the conversation he overheard. In the end, what saves them is the bell on the door ringing to signal a new customer. Chan immediately snaps into his customer service mode and smiles at them. Minho makes an Americano before sneaking his way past Chan and toward a table in the back corner. At least he’ll be able to curl up in a corner until his break ends.

***

A few days later, Minho is leaning against the counter talking to Yugyeom before his shift when the door bangs open.

“Where is he?” The person loudly demands.

Minho is startled, and maybe a little freaked out, but when he catches Yugyeom rolling his eyes he’s confused. Standing at the door is a teenager with wide eyes and shaggy black hair. He’s looking around the coffee shop quickly as he searches for one specific person.

“He’s in the back,” Yugyeom calls out to him loudly.

The teen smiles before shouting a long, drawn-out, “Chan!”

No one, except Minho, seems surprised by the disturbance. Minho watches as the teen makes his way closer to the counter. “You must be Minho,” he says much quieter.

“How does everyone know my name?” Minho asks.

The teen opens his mouth to answer, but the door to the kitchen swinging open and closed interrupts them. “Jeongin, there really is no reason to shout,” Chan says exasperatedly.

“Chan!” Jeongin exclaims just as loud as before.

Minho watches with a small smile as Chan shakes his head. “Why won’t you listen to me?”

But he still makes his way around the counter to hug Jeongin tightly. “Chan,” Jeongin whines, but Minho watches as he seems to fall into the hug.

“They’re always like this,” Yugyeom sighs.

Minho laughs. “Sounds annoying.”

But his smile still grows as he watches the two pull back from the hug to only start talking quietly. He catches the soft look in Chan’s eyes as he stares at Jeongin. He wonders, briefly, what it would be like to have Chan look at him like that.

“You should probably clock in,” Yugyeom tells him. “Your shift is starting in like two minutes.”

Minho nods, almost reluctantly turning away from Chan and Jeongin to make his way to the back of the shop. He must’ve missed Chan making his own way to the back because when he’s standing back behind the front counter the only people there are Jeongin and Yugyeom. He sends Yugyeom to the back to clock out and go home and then turns his attention to Jeongin. He’s leaning against the front counter nibbling on one of the shop’s cookies.

“Hi?” Minho calls out cautiously.

Jeongin smiles brightly and Minho can see a glimpse of white braces on his teeth. “Hi, Minho,” he says just as bright as his smile. “I’ve been waiting to meet you!”

“That doesn’t sound ominous at all,” Minho mutters.

Jeongin’s smile doesn’t fade or falter, in fact, it almost seems to grow. He doesn’t say anything to Minho, just studies him closely before sliding a cookie across the counter toward Minho. “I’ve got to go, but it was nice meeting you.”

And then Jeongin is gone, the sound of bells ringing as the door closes behind him. Minho blinks before picking up the cookie and taking a small bite.

“Jeongin gave you a cookie?” Chan asks.

Minho turns around quickly. “Oh!” he says through a mouthful of cookie crumbs.

“I can’t believe he likes you better than me,” Chan says with a pout.

Minho shrugs before he resumes eating his cookie. He ignores Chan’s whining about Jeongin choosing new favorites as he slumps against the counter. Maybe Jeongin is gonna be fun to keep around; if only to see Chan pout like this even more.

***

A week later Minho is curled up on the corner of Jisung’s couch once more. Their movie night is much more subdued this time, if only because of the presence of other people. Jisung had looked at Minho apologetically when he saw the other standing outside of his porch bundled in a coat and hat. “We had a movie night planned tonight,” is the first thing out of Jisung’s mouth.

Minho raises a brow. “Is this a bad time? I can… well I can leave?” He asks slowly.

Jisung looks over his shoulder before looking at Minho with a pinched look. “No, but umm… do you mind having other people around?”

Minho’s blood runs cold. “Who?” He asks.

“Jisung who’s at the door?” Someone from inside calls out.

Minho watches as Hyunjin comes up behind Jisung. “Oh, Minho. Hi!” He cheerfully greets the other.

“Hi, Hyunjin,” Minho says in a quieter voice.

“What are you doing here?” Hyunjin asks, oblivious to what Jisung had planned before.

“Jisung and I were supposed to have a movie night,” Minho says. “But I guess we’ll just do it another night.”

“Minho, wait! We can still just watch movies tonight, just with some other people,” Jisung says quickly.

Minho looks at Hyunjin and his smile and then Jisung, who looks desperately at Minho before he gives a tight smile and just nods. Which is how he ends up on the corner of the couch nursing a glass of hot chocolate that Jisung’s mother had apologetically put into his hand once he had gotten inside.

Seungmin was on the other couch with Jeongin. Jeongin had smiled brightly and yelled Minho’s name when he walked in, but Seungmin had only looked at Minho with cold eyes. Minho had greeted Jeongin back brightly and just gave Seungmin a curt nod. Felix was on the floor leaning against the couch with Seungmin and Jeongin, and Hyunjin had rushed to go sit next to him once they were all in the room. Felix gave him a small wave before looking at Jisung with an unreadable gaze.

Jisung had sat on the couch next to Minho drinking his own hot chocolate. “Did you guys decide on a movie? Because if not, Minho and I need to finish watching Mulan…” He smiles at Minho toward the end of his sentence.

Minho ducks his head back toward his hot chocolate when someone else speaks up. “And we’re just going to watch Mulan because Minho wants to?”

Right, Changbin was also here. A gloomy presence on the other side of the couch. He had his knees pulled up against his chest and his chin resting on his knees. He wasn’t looking at Minho, instead, he was looking at the point of connection between Jisung and Minho’s knees. Minho doesn’t want to look at him, not with how Changbin had looked at him when he first walked into the living room.

“No, but considering Minho and Jisung had plans before we even came over does hold some precedence,” Felix says pointedly.

Changbin huffs, but no one else speaks up. “Great. Let’s watch Mulan then,” Hyunjin says loudly.

Minho wonders if everyone can feel the awkwardness, or if it’s just Minho. Still, he lifts his eyes from his hot chocolate to the television screen. He catches Changbin’s gaze before he can look at the brightly animated movie. He looks conflicted, but apologetic as he meets Minho’s gaze. Minho gives him an awkward smile which causes Changbin to look away from him and to the screen quickly.

Minho turns his gaze to the movie just in time to see Mulan make a fool of herself with the matchmaker. But his mind isn’t focusing on the bright animation or the screaming, instead, he is thinking of the conversation he overheard a little over a week ago between Changbin and Chan. He wonders who they were talking about, and what it could mean.

“I’m gonna get some more snacks,” Jisung announces loudly. He hits Changbin on the arm. “Come help me carry them.”

Changbin looks like he’s going to argue, but one look from Jisung has him shutting up and standing up. Minho puts his hot chocolate down before standing up himself. Seungmin looks at him. “I gotta go to the bathroom,” he says quietly.

Seungmin turns his gaze back to the screen as Minho makes his way out of the living room. He does actually go to the bathroom if only to splash some water on his face to calm himself down. It’s been a while since he’s been in a room full of people, especially people he doesn’t know. Especially people that he doesn’t know that don’t seem to like him.

He catches his gaze in the mirror. “You’ve got this. Go out there, finish Mulan, and then leave,” he says to himself.

Mind made up, he opens the door and makes his way out. As he passes by the kitchen, he hears Jisung talking. “What is your problem,” he hisses out.

Minho cranes his neck to look inside the kitchen. Jisung is opening bags of chips to dump into bowls while Changbin sulks in the corner. Jisung looks annoyed if him stomping and throwing chip bags around is anything to go by. “I don’t have a problem,” Changbin says grumpily.

“Yes! You do,” Jisung accuses. “You’ve been acting like a moody brat since you first walked in. And that’s after ignoring my texts and calls for over a week now.”

Changbin turns his gaze to the side. “I’m sorry,” he says.

Jisung slams his hands against the counters. “You’re sorry. God! Alert the papers, Changbin Seo is sorry, and he won’t even say why.”

Changbin straightens up. “Well maybe some things have happened, and I just don’t know how to talk about it,” Changbin snaps. “And maybe you shouldn’t worry too much about it.”

He turns his gaze and catches Minho. His eyes turn cold and Minho is frozen. “Well isn’t that perfect,” he says coldly.

Jisung turns and sees Minho peeking out around the corner, but then he turns his gaze back to Changbin who storms out of the kitchen. “Wait, Changbin!” He calls after the male.

Minho is frozen as Changbin passes by him. But Jisung calling out his name turns his attention back to the younger. “Why are you here? Weren’t you watching the movie?”

“I had to use the bathroom,” Minho says quietly. “I heard you guys arguing on my way back. I just wanted to make sure everything was ok.”

“Everything was fine,” Jisung says.

He pushes past Minho with two bowls of chips in his hand. Minho watches him pass by before jumping at the sound of the door slamming. He knows that his nerves are too shot to go back in there, so he makes his own way to the door hoping to slip out unnoticed. He still catches Felix’s eye as he passes the doorway to the living room.

He watches as Felix looks at him and then at Jisung before he turns his gaze back to Minho. There’s a question in his eyes, but Minho is too tired to try and answer it. He just ducks his head and makes his way to the door. Slipping on his coat and boots is easy, and once he’s outside he struggles with putting on his hat and gloves.

“What are you doing?”

Minho startles, not expecting Changbin to be sitting in the dark on the porch. He looks pitiful, curled up in himself as he stares at the dark street ahead. His head is resting on his knees as his arms are wrapped around his legs to hug himself. He looks smaller, smaller than Minho has ever seen him.

“What are you doing? Why are you just sitting here in the dark?” Minho asks.

“I was going to leave, but I don’t have anywhere to go,” Changbin admits.

“Then why don’t we just take a walk,” Minho suggests.

Changbin looks up at him with tired eyes, but he nods. “Sure. Let’s go,” he says quietly.

He uncurls himself so he’s standing straight before making his way down the porch. Minho follows only a step behind. “Which way?” Changbin asks once they’re out on the sidewalk.

Minho looks both ways down the street before taking a right to head into town. Changbin follows after him, but soon they’re walking side by side. “I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” Minho says sincerely.

Changbin harshly breathes out, his breath dancing like smoke in the winter air. Minho watches as it goes higher before completely disappearing. “Don’t worry about it. Jisung was right, I’ve been moody lately. And I'm taking it out on you, which is stupid. You didn’t do anything.” He pauses, “Well, you didn’t do anything to me.”

Minho stays quiet and just watches Changbin as he keeps walking with his head tilted toward the sky and his hands pushed deep in his pockets. He looks defeated like life hasn’t given him a break in a long time. He looks like Minho did just a few months ago, and something in him breaks.

“I overheard you,” Minho admits. “Talking to Chan at Insomnia the other night. I was coming back from my break when I heard you two.”

“So you really do have a habit of eavesdropping then?” Changbin accuses, but there’s no bite to his words.

“I guess,” Minho says with a shrug. He studies Changbin who refuses to look at him. “I don’t know what you were talking about, and you really don’t have to tell me, but if you ever need someone to talk to that doesn’t know anything, then I’m here for you.”

Changbin gives a tired laugh. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Minho nods before stopping. They’re standing under the neon blue sign of Insomnia, which was a surprise to Minho since he wasn’t paying attention to where they were going. He just let his body go on autopilot as he talked to Changbin. Changbin doesn’t seem surprised as he looks through the glass door of Insomnia, the blue lighting up the planes of his face. He just looks even more tired in the blue light.

“Strange how we seemed to have ended up here,” Changbin muses.

Minho hums in agreement. Changbin turns to look at him. “If I go in there Chan will probably call Jisung to come get me, but you should head in. Chan’s good at making tea that will calm you,” Changbin says.

Minho doesn’t say anything. He just watches Changbin take his gloved hands out of his pockets. Minho stares at the familiar pair of black and red striped gloves adorned on his hands. A smile crosses the older male’s face when he figures out where he’s seen them before. “Maybe I will,” he says.

Changbin smiles, patting Minho on the arm once before he turns and walks away. And Minho, well Minho isn’t ready to go home just yet to lay on his bed and stare at the white ceiling. Instead, he pushes his way inside the shop.

The bells ringing over the door welcome him, but he only feels warmer once he catches Chan’s smile when he sees Minho walk in. “Hey, what are you doing here?”

Minho gives a small smile back. “I heard you can make a good, calming cup of tea.”

Chan’s smile softens. “Yeah. C’mon. Let’s enjoy some tea and have a nice conversation,” he says.

Minho smiles and makes his way toward the other male. This seems much better than sitting in a room full of people he doesn’t know, and Jisung. Jisung, who he hurt again tonight. But a good cup of tea and a nice conversation with someone who doesn’t know him sounds like a good way to center himself again and just breathe.

“So, you’ll never guess who came in just a little before you,” Chan says when he places the cup on the counter in front of Minho.

Minho picks it up and smiles at Chan. “Was it the mocha lady?” He asks.

Chan sighs. “Yes, and you’ll never guess what happened.”

Minho smiles into his tea as he listens to Chan complain about the old lady who comes in for a Caramel Mocha every night and spends half of her time just complaining about the world and people. She once tried to tell Minho how China was taking over the phones and phone lines. In the end, he was happy for Chan saving him by saying there were some dishes that he had to get done.

In the end, standing at the counter with Chan as they complain about customers and life in general calms Minho down more than he thought it would. And maybe Minho doesn’t talk about his time at college or the real reason he’s home, but Chan doesn’t push. He just talks about his own studies and his own frustrations with finals being so close.

He stays there until Chan’s shift is done, and only then does he make his way back to his own house. His parents don’t say anything when they see him, but that might be because of how busy they are themselves as they get ready for their own days. Minho just makes his way up the staircase and into his own room.

He falls asleep as soon as his head touches the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to lie, this chapter is mostly filler - but some of these scenes are important for other scenes that are to come. And I did like writing them, but I also didn't know how to end the chapter. I wanted to end it when he walked into Insomnia, but then I wanted to add another Minchan scene and that's what happened.
> 
> I hope that you guys still enjoyed it though! Even if I'm a little late uploading it, but we'll just blame that on finals.
> 
> [Twitter](https://www.twitter.com/queenie_stay)  
> [Story Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4pIWbVHh7UvXpLwZ4jbpUh?si=0opZPW0rRPOYlOjSIEsLOg)


	8. Chapter Eight: Winter Wonderland

Minho doesn’t realize just how close it is to Christmas until Chan drops a cardboard box onto the front counter the Friday after the movie night gone wrong. Minho startles, his hands falling away from the smooth surface of the counter where they were resting as he surveyed the empty shop. “What is that?” He asks with a furrowed brow.

“Christmas decorations,” Chan says with a smile. He’s been happier since his finals had ended; the last one was just yesterday. 

Minho tries not to think about all the finals and classes he missed on his leave of absence, and just how many of those he will have to make up once he goes back to college. If he goes back to college. He distracts himself by opening the cardboard box. “Christmas decorations?” He asks.

He toys with the cardboard flaps as Chan answers. “Yeah. We usually have them up at the beginning of December, but they slipped my mind completely,” he explains, “but since it’s dead, I figured we could decorate together.

Minho starts sifting through the decorations in the box. He eyes them warily. “I’m not much of a decorator,” he warns the other as he pulls out a string of garland.

Chan laughs. “There’s a set place for everything to go, so it won’t be too hard,” Chan says.

“Ok, I guess,” Minho says.

“Great! It’ll be fun!”

***

It was not fun.

At one point Minho had somehow gotten trapped in one of the longer strands of garland. Chan had laughed while trying to unravel him. Minho had ended up laughing too. It was fun, though, watching Chan struggle to put up the decorations on the ceiling. Chan had just huffed and given Minho a playful glare before he went back to work hanging the decorations.

But Minho could say that he was happy for the decorating to end though. Chan and he had sat down at one of the tables near the counter, exhausted by the manual labor. Minho is watching Chan who is leaning back into the chair with his head tilted upward as he gives the ceiling a thoughtful look. He can see the gleaming of his name tag under the fluorescent lights. And the question is out of his mouth before he can stop himself. “Why do you have Chris on your name tag instead of Chan?”

Chan ducks his head and looks at Minho for a second before grabbing hold of his apron and pulling it far enough away from his chest so that he can see the silver name tag himself. “People find it easier to say Chris instead of Chan. Besides, it is my birth name,” he says with a shrug.

Minho nods. He remembers all the times customers have botched his name. He didn’t know there were so many ways to pronounce Minho wrong, but working here had shown him most, if not all, of the ways. “Makes sense,” he tells Chan.

Chan nods before looking around. “It looks good in here,” he says, “you did a good job.”

Minho takes his own time to look around. The front counter is lined with garland and colored lights, the door frame outlined by the same. There’s holly hanging from the ceiling along with foam sparkly snowflakes (Minho is sure he still has sparkles on his hands from handling them). The window sill has silvery-white garland and fake snow resting on them. There’s even a wreath hanging on the door.

It honestly looks like a winter wonderland that was put on a budget. Minho still finds himself agreeing with Chan. It looks better than the bland Insomnia that he was used to. It almost feels like Christmas time. “It does,” he says.

Chan takes another moment to look around the empty shop before smiling brightly. “Well, time to go back to work,” he says cheerily.

Minho groans, his head falling back. “Fine,” he groans out.

He hears Chan laughing as he walks about. Minho stares at the hanging snowflakes for a moment longer before he gets up and follows after his manager. There were things to do after all.

***

Jisung is standing on his porch when Minho wakes up on Saturday. He’s carrying two cups of coffee and looks at Minho with an apologetic look as soon as the door opens. “Coffee?” He asks, slightly raising one of the cups.

Minho sighs before opening the door wider to let Jisung inside in a silent invitation. The younger smiles before stepping inside. Minho only waits long enough to shut the door behind the younger and then he’s walking toward the living. He knows that Jisung will follow.

His assumption is proven correct when Jisung walks in as Minho is sitting down on one of the couches. Jisung sits on the couch lined against the wall to Minho’s left, but only after he sets both the coffee cups on the coffee table lined between the couches. He looks tired, Minho notes. His fading blue hair is hanging limply across his forehead from where it hangs under his red winter hat. The skin under his eyes is dark, and when Jisung looks at Minho his eyes are dull.

Still, Minho knows it’s best to have Jisung speak first. He was the one who had reached out with texts and calls that went ignored by the younger. So even if Minho is worried, it’s up to Jisung to decide what they are going to talk about while he’s here. It’s only fair since Jisung does the same for Minho.

“I’m sorry,” Jisung says to break the silence. “For snapping at you Monday and then ignoring you for the rest of the week.”

Minho nods. “You were forgiven the moment it happened,” he says to reassure the younger.

Jisung nods, but he looks away from Minho. “I guess… I’m just…. I’m frustrated,” he says. “Not with you, well not completely with you, but…”

He takes a breath. “I don’t know. Like things were going one way, and I thought everything was going fine, but then you came home and now…”

“Everything’s changed?” Minho offers.

Jisung looks at him with vulnerable eyes and nods. “Yeah,” he says softly, “everything’s changed.”

This time Minho turns away to look out the window. He watches the snow fall in fluffy white flakes. Watches the way they seem to glow in the weak winter sun. It’s as hypnotizing as watching the leaves blow in the breeze when he’s at his therapist's office. And maybe that’s the reason he decides to say something to Jisung. 

“I get that. Everything changed for me too,” he says quietly. “One moment everything seemed to be going great, and then…” He trails off and ends up looking back at Jisung. Jisung is staring at him with wide eyes. “Then something changed, and I don’t know what. But that’s why I’m here now.”

And there’s more to the story. A lot more, but Minho isn’t ready to try to comprehend what happened, what changed, to tell Jisung. But he hopes that this will make Jisung understand that he isn’t alone in trying to figure everything out at least.

“I figured,” Jisung said. “Seungmin was right when he said we weren’t expecting you to come back.”

Minho wonders if he would’ve come back if this didn’t happen. And maybe he would have, but it would’ve been years later when any relationship between him and the people in this town would have been severed beyond any hope of repairing. “I honestly don’t know if I would’ve come back,” Minho tells him honestly.

Jisung nods. “Yeah, but even if everything is upside down right now, I’m glad you’re back.”

He smiles brightly at Minho. Something warm and bright like sunshine, just like Jisung used to whenever he saw Minho. 

_“I got us candy!” Jisung said with a bright smile._

_“I saved you a seat!”_

_“You’re my best friend in the whole world, Minho!”_

Minho blinks rapidly, turning to look out the window once more. Going down memory lane won’t help him right now; not when he’s beginning to suspect things that are better left untouched.

_“I’m not saying you have to, but I honestly don’t think Jisung would mind if you did. He-” Felix cuts off taking a deep breath before continuing again. “He really cares about you.”_

He wonders what Felix was going to say first. Looking at Jisung who’s too busy drinking his coffee, he wonders if he already knows.

“Oh!” Jisung suddenly shouts. “Would you look at this thing for me? Like I showed Changbin a few weeks ago, and he said it was really good, but I want a second opinion. And you know music well enough to know what would be a good beat to dance to at least,” Jisung continues in a ramble, “and I wanted to show you at our movie night, but then that got interrupted, and then the makeup one was a disaster, so do you think you could listen to it now?”

Minho blinks. “You want me to listen to a song?” He asks slowly.

“My song,” Jisung clarifies. “Like I said, I already showed Changbin the whole thing, but there’s one part I was hoping you could listen to so I can get a third opinion. It just doesn’t sound right to me.”

“You showed Changbin?” Minho asks.

Jisung shrugs. “He’s actually really good at music, even if he isn’t going to school for it like I suggested. So I show him all my projects. He even helps me create songs sometimes.”

A soft smile spreads across Minho’s face. “Ok, I guess I can listen to a part of your song. But I want to hear the whole thing someday,” he says.

Jisung beams. “Great! Let me get it pulled up.”

***

Minho decides to go for a walk on Sunday to maybe clear his head. Sitting in an empty house with nothing to do is not helpful, and his therapist had recommended going outside or doing something productive if Minho does feel uncomfortable in one of the few times that Minho actually spoke up at his appointment.

So, he leaves the house with nothing more than his phone, wallet, hat, gloves, and keys. He has no destination in mind but trusts his feet to lead him where he needs to go. Hopefully, they won’t lead him to Insomnia where he knows there will be no bright smile greeting him with a cup of tea this time. 

Instead, his feet lead him deeper into town to where the small owned shops are. He gives his customer service smile to the people he recognizes from Insomnia and ignores the rest; he really doesn’t feel like talking to people he doesn’t know. “Minho?” Someone calls out though.

He looks away from the window he had been staring in to see Hyunjin and Felix standing just a few feet away. They’re both bundled into their own winter gear. Hyunjin is wearing a puffy dark red jacket with a black knitted cap and sleek black winter gloves. Around his neck is a maroon scarf that covers the bottom half of his face. Felix is wearing a long white jacket with a dark maroon knitted winter hat and sleek maroon gloves. A black scarf is wrapped around his neck and the bottom half of his chin. 

They’re standing close together, gloved hands brushing against each other, but not holding onto each other. Minho focuses on their hands more than anything. “Hey guys,” he says with a soft smile.

“What are you doing here?” Hyunjin asks.

“Just wanted some fresh air,” Minho answers. “What are you guys doing?”

They share a look with each other. Hyunjin opens his mouth to say something, but a minuscule shake of Felix’s head causes him to stop. “We’re just looking around some of the shops. Seeing what we want to get everyone for Christmas,” Felix says.

Minho looks back at the shop window. “That sounds fun,” he comments.

“Did you want to come look around with us?” Hyunjin asks.

Minho looks back at the two surprised. Apparently, he’s not the only one because Felix is also looking at Hyunjin with wide eyes. Hyunjin looks at Felix and it seems like they have a silent conversation before Felix turns his gaze back to Minho. “Yeah, come hang out with us. We can get to know each other better,” he says. 

With both of them looking at him, Minho doesn’t think he can refuse their offer. So he just nods his head and allows them to lead the way. He watches closely as they walk side by side, closer than necessary. Hyunjin has his head tilted toward Felix as the other male talks in a low voice. Minho can’t hear the conversation, but judging from the crinkles on Hyunjin’s eyes it must be a happy conversation.

“Let’s go in here!” Felix says enthusiastically pointing at one of the shops and tugging on Hyunjin’s sleeve.

Hyunjin looks at him fondly before nodding. “Sound good to you, Minho?”

Minho nods. “Yeah. Wherever you guys want to go. I’m just along for the ride,” Minho says.

Felix smiles brightly before dragging Hyunjin inside of the shop. Minho follows behind them but doesn’t interact with the two as they start moving through the different aisles and displays. “Your mom would like this,” Felix says to Hyunjin as he points out an elegantly made gold necklace in one of the display cases.

Hyunjin hums, moving his face closer to look at the necklace better. “She really would. How much is it?”

“It’s in our price range,” Felix answers.

Hyunjin hums before moving away. “We’ll come back later then if we can’t find anything else.”

“What do you think Chan will want?” Hyunjin asks.

Minho perks up. Why were they asking about Chan? He moves closer so that he can hear the conversation more clearly. “Something black,” Felix answers. He tilts his head to the side as if he’s in thought. “Or something for music.”

Why would Chan need something for music? He’s planning on running a coffee shop one day. Or was there more that Minho was missing? He tries to remember Chan back in high school, but his memory is fuzzy. The most he can remember about Chan is the fact that he was always busy.

“What about you Minho?” Hyunjin asks suddenly.

“What about what? Sorry,” Minho says.

“What are you getting for your family?” Hyunjin asks for what must be the second time.

“Oh, I’m not sure yet,” Minho says airily. “I’m not even sure what they want.”

He looks at the display cases with barely any interest. He’s not sure what his parents would want, most of the things he bought them when he was at college before were from Amazon and he sent them straight home. Last Christmas he had face timed them the whole day while he lounged in his dorm room alone snacking on skittles. 

“That’s ok, there’s still some time before Christmas,” Hyunjin says brightly.

Felix nods excitedly. “Yeah! Maybe we can drag you out again later and help you find some gifts for everyone. Though, I’m sure you’ll be able to get one for Jisung.”

“Jisung?” Minho asks.

“Yeah. You should get him a gift at least,” Hyunjin says blankly without looking at Minho. “You know since you left him high and dry and just came back without any explanation.”

“Hyunjin,” Felix hisses out before whacking the other’s arm. 

Hyunjin looks at Felix with an unreadable stare. Felix glares right back. Minho feels a little awkward standing there between the two of them. His phone vibrates in his pocket, and Minho has never been more grateful to have an excuse to step away. He pulls out his phone as the other two start hissing quietly toward each other.

**Chan Work**

**4:43 pm**

Hey Minho! Just wondering what you’re doing right now?

**Minnie is cute**

**4:43 pm**

Shopping with Hyunjin and Felix

Kind of awkward right now…

**Chan Work**

**4:44 pm**

Oh! That’s cool. Tell Felix I say hi!!

But umm… what are you doing later tonight?

**Minnie is cute**

**4:44 pm**

Ok???

Um… I don’t have anything planned as of right now

**Chan Work**

**4:44 pm**

Cool…

So… um…

Minho watches as the bubbles appear and disappear for a few moments. “Who’s texting you?” Felix asks.

“Oh… um… Chan,” Minho says distractedly as the bubbles pop up again for only a few seconds. “He says hi by the way.”

“Chan?” Hyunjin says.

Minho looks up. Hyunjin looks confused, but Felix is only wearing a smug smile. He wonders what Felix knows. He also wonders why Chan is only asking Minho to say hi to Felix. He remembers the night he first met Felix and the way Chan reacted to seeing him. Was there something that Minho was missing?

He studies Felix more, but Felix just looks away and instead turns to Hyunjin. “We should probably start heading home. Your mom wanted us back by dinner,” he tells him.

Hyunjin pulls out his phone to check the time. “Oh yeah, we really should.” He looks back up at Minho. “Do you mind?”

The phone vibrates in Minho’s hand again he glances at it briefly but looks back to answer Hyunjin. “No that’s ok. If you have to go, you have to go,” he tells them.

They bid Minho a goodbye before heading out of the store. Minho looks back down at his phone again to read the message.

**Chan Work**

**4:51 pm**

Did you maybe want to hang out?

We can watch Disney movies and drink hot chocolate!!

Only if you want to though…

**Minnie is cute**

**4:55 pm**

Ok

Sure

That sounds fun

Minho just hopes that he’s making the right decision by agreeing to watch Disney movies with Chan. Secretly, he thinks his therapist would be very proud of him right now.

**Chan Work**

**4:56 pm**

Great! We can meet at Insomnia at 6 pm and walk to my house together then!

**Minnie is cute**

**4:56 pm**

Ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8 is here and we have another cliff hanger. Just how will this Disney date go???
> 
> So as of right now life has kind of gotten hectic, but I’m gonna keep trying to write and post, but if I disappear for a while it’s because of life. 
> 
> But!! I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and look forward to the next!!


	9. Chapter Nine: Disney Movies and Surprises

Minho arrives twenty minutes early to Insomnia, but he doesn’t head inside. Seungmin is behind the counter smiling at the customers as he hands them what Minho presumes is their drinks. He looks more welcoming, more kind with a smile on his face. He looks more relaxed than Minho has ever seen him, even with the slight rush that he’s working through. Minho doesn’t want to have the smile fall off of Seungmin’s face just to be replaced with something tighter, not when his nerves are already at an all-time high.

Instead, he chooses to loiter outside; even if he can see his breath in the air with every exhale and snowflakes are falling all around him. He remembered to wear gloves, and his hat is doing its job of keeping his head and ears warm. He can deal with waiting for Chan outside. The cold helps him stay in the moment and not get too in his head about tonight anyway. It’s good for him.

“Oh, you’re here early,” Chan says unexpectedly only ten minutes after Minho has arrived.

Minho turns his gaze to look at Chan through the white haze of the snowflakes. “I uh, didn’t want to be late,” he says sheepishly.

Chan's eyes squint in a way that Minho is able to associate with a smile. “Would you believe me if I said the same thing?”

Minho cocks his head to the side and studies his manager. The older’s hands are tucked deep into the pockets of his long dark grey wool coat, and the bottom half of his face is hidden behind a pitch-black scarf. But he’s not wearing a hat and the tips of his ears are red, though Minho figures that could also be from the cold. His eyes show his nervousness, however, in the way they never seem to look at Minho for more than a few seconds.

“I never would’ve thought that the Chan Bang could get nervous,” Minho jokingly says instead of answering.

Chan laughs, loud and bright, and it travels in the quiet night air before seemingly wrapping around Minho and warming him up more than he thought it would. “I think plenty of people would be nervous in my situation,” he hears his manager say.

And Minho wants to ask what Chan means, but the older is already speaking again. “You ready to go? Unless you want something to drink that is.”

Minho casts a glance inside when he can see Seungmin sporadically looking out the window, a concentrated frown already on his face. Minho tries to smile, but Seungmin is already looking away. He allows himself to look at Chan instead, already shaking his head. “No, that’s ok. Why don’t we just head to your house so we can start the marathon?”

Chan glances inside, but he’s already nodding. “Sounds good to me. Let’s head out.”

***

The house they end up stopping at looks vaguely familiar to Minho, but he can’t place why as they walk up the driveway. Chan is ahead of him, already opening the door by the time Minho makes it up the porch steps. “Welcome to my house,” Chan says as he motions for Minho to go inside first.

Minho smiles before taking a step inside the light blue house. “It’s pretty,” he tells the other as he takes his time to view the small hallway they’re in. There’s a few pictures of people that Minho doesn’t recognize, probably Chan’s family, and a small dog. Minho’s eye catches a photo, but with the light off it’s too dark to make out. By the time the light turns on, Minho is focused on Chan.

“Here, I’ll hang up your coat and scarf. You can just leave your boots on the mat,” he says while pointing out a rubber mat covered with other shoes. “This way we won’t track water everywhere, mom gets made when that happens.”

Minho nods before taking off his hat and stuffing it in his coat hood, and then he's handing over his coat and scarf before slightly bending down to take off his boots. He's successful in taking them off without falling down, and when he straightens up he can see Chan struggling to move in the narrow space. He steps a little further into the house, the cold of the wood floor seeping in slightly through his socks. He doesn’t say anything, instead, waiting for Chan to finish taking off his own shoes.

“Follow me,” the older says with a bright smile.

Minho tries to match the other’s smile, but he knows it falls into something that relays his nerves more than excitement. Chan doesn’t say anything, just leads Minho to the other end of the hallway. It opens up into a large modern-styled kitchen. To the left Minho can see the opening to what looks like a living room, and just over the kitchen bar, he’s able to see a spacious dining room. Chan doesn’t give anything a second look as he starts walking over to a sleek black refrigerator on the far right wall. “Do you want whipped cream and marshmallows?” Chan asks.

Minho nods as he says, “if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not,” Chan says with a bright laugh. “Hot chocolate is always better that way.”

And the more Chan talks and smiles, the more that Minho starts to relax. Just because he’s hanging out with Chan outside of a work setting doesn’t mean that Chan will magically change. If they can get together at work, then what is stopping them from getting along now? And it’s with this thought that Minho allows himself to make his way to where Chan is setting up everything for hot chocolate.

“Where is everyone?” Minho asks as he leans against the marbled grey countertop.

“My siblings are out at the moment, but they’ll be coming back soon,” Chan says. “My dad is running late tonight, but my mom is gonna be home soon. She’s just walking the dog.”

Minho nods. “Ok. Anything I should know before she gets home.”

Chan looks at Minho from the corner of his eye. “Nah, she’s like most parents. Pretty chill.”

Minho doesn’t think he would describe his parents as chill, especially now. It took him a while to convince his mom that he would be ok going to Chan’s house and that nothing bad was going to happen. Of course, he doesn’t think that any parent would be chill if they had to go through what Minho is putting them through right now.

“That’s nice,” Minho says.

The door opens and closes just a few seconds later. Chan is heating up the milk to go into the hot chocolate on the stove. He absolutely refused to go with Minho's idea of just heating it up in the microwave, citing something about it tasting better when it's been prepared on the stove. Minho can hear the clicking of claws as an animal, probably the dog Chan was talking about, runs from the hallways and into the kitchen.

It starts barking as soon as it sees Minho but it quickly loses interest when they see Chan at the stove. It starts jumping around Chan’s legs to try and gain his attention. Chan laughs brightly even as he lightly scolds the dog, Berry, to be quiet. “Berry boy, I’ll pet you in a second. Go say hi to Minho instead.”

“You must be Minho,” someone else, a female, says from the opening of the kitchen.

He turns his gaze from the laughing Chan and sees an older woman who looks like his manager stepping further into the kitchen. She’s dressed casually in a red sweater and dark jeans, her dark red hat is still sitting on her head flattening her dark brown hair. Minho can only pick out a few grey hairs in the strands, and even then, he has to look closely to see them. She has Chan’s smile, and even on an unfamiliar face, the sight warms Minho. “Hello ma'am,” he says quickly. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Please, just call me Mrs. Bang,” she says. “Ma’am makes me feel old.”

“Ok Mrs. Bang,” Minho says quickly. “Thank you for letting me come over last minute.”

“Oh don’t worry about it, dear. It’ll be nice to see Chan doing something other than work.”

“I hang out with people,” Chan protests. He turns away from where he’s putting chocolate in the milk to glare at his mother.

“Changbin barely counts dear. All that poor boy does is work too,” Mrs. Bang says. “Though I wish he would just accept some help. He’s too bright to have to do everything on his own.”

Minho doesn’t ask what they are talking about. He knows what it’s like to want to have things private. But from the small hum that Chan lets out as he goes back to lightly stirring the hot chocolate on the stove, he obviously knows what his mom is talking about.

“But enough about him dear, why don’t you tell me about yourself,” Mrs. Bang says, turning her attention back to Minho. “Chan says you work with him down at Insomnia. Are you enjoying it?”

Minho nods. “It’s really nice working there, and I guess that Chan is a good manager.”

That gets another strangled protest out of Chan’s mouth as his mother laughs brightly. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it. Is it just while you're on break? Or are you doing online school too?”

“I go to school at Golden Oak University,” Minho says before pausing. “And I’m not sure when I’ll stop working at Insomnia.”

“Oh?” Mrs. Bang says. “Did something happen?”

Minho turns his gaze away from her. He catches sight of Chan looking at him before he quickly turns back to the pan filled with the hot chocolate. Minho studies him as he answers Mrs. Bang's question. “You could say that,” he finally says. “Some things happened and I have to figure some stuff out before I go back.”

It’s the most that Minho has ever said about his plans of going back to college, or even about him leaving college and coming back to his hometown. He just hopes that no one will ask more questions about what happened, but when he does look back at Mrs. Bang she’s looking at him with a small smile and an unreadable gaze. “Well, that’s ok,” she assures him. “People are allowed to move through life at different speeds. Just take your own time.”

“Thank you,” Minho says quietly.

“Now, how old are you Minho?” She asks unexpectedly.

“Me? I’m twenty,” Minho says quickly.

“Good to know. So no getting into the alcohol, Chan.” She says with a stern stare at the other. “I don’t care what may happen on Golden Oak University's campus, but I will not have underage drinking happening here.”

“I wasn’t even thinking about it,” Chan says indignantly.

Minho wonders if he should say that he’s not even allowed to touch alcohol anyway. Not when he knows exactly what happens after he feels that first burn of the liquid as it travels down his throat. What happens the next day, and the day after that. But instead, he decides to keep quiet about what could be. Mrs. Bang has already said no, there’s no reason for Minho to bring up the past. Not when he’s already said more than he’s wanted to in a while.

He breaks out of his stupor when Chan holds a black mug in front of his face. There’s whipped cream coating the top if not slightly spilling over the edges, and it looks like there is cocoa powder lightly sprinkled on top of that. Mrs. Bang is nowhere to be found, but Minho catches sight of socked feet as they make their way up the stairs. He turns his gaze back to Chan who pushes the mug toward him again, a soft smile on his face. “Here. Why don’t we go watch some movies before everyone gets home and it starts getting loud again.”

Minho takes the mug and nods. “Sounds like a plan,” he says brightly.

Chan gives him one last look, the tips of his ears coloring just the slightest red before he ducks his head and leads Minho to the living room. Minho is too focused on Chan and the ramblings of the movies they can watch to pay attention to the decorations of the house.

***

The first movie they watch is Mulan, and Minho is ecstatic to know that Chan also sings along to all the songs. They aren’t quiet just yet, the only person home is Chan’s mother and she told them it was ok to be loud for now, but they would have to quiet home once Chan’s siblings got home.

Minho isn’t as loud as Chan, but he’s enjoying listening to the other loudly singing to the soundtrack of Mulan. He looks younger, his eyes more bright, as he dances around the living room. Minho feels like he could be back in high school without a care in the world. It’s a feeling that he loves, and that he craves.

“You’re not singing,” Chan says with a pout once he falls on the couch beside Minho after performing “I’ll Make a Man Out of You.”

“It’s hard to sing when you’re more entertaining,” Minho says honestly.

Chan flushes before ducking his head and turning away from Minho. “You can’t just say that,” he says, but it comes out as more of a whine than anything.

Minho finds himself laughing. “Are you shy? Is the great Bang Chan shy?”

“I’m not shy,” Chan says loudly. “You’re just-” he cuts off as he meets Minho’s eyes.

“I’m just what?” Minho asks once he’s calmed down enough.

Chan doesn’t say anything for a few seconds though. He’s looking at Minho with soft eyes and an even softer smile. “Beautiful,” he breathes out.

“What?” Minho asks with an awkward laugh.

Chan’s eyes widen, his face flushing a deeper read. “Nothing, don’t worry about it.”

Minho opens his mouth to push the topic further, but Chan is saved by the opening of a door and multiple voices. “Lucas!” A girl squeals. “Stop.”

“But Hannah,” another one, possibly Lucas, whines out.

It’s not long after that the two squabbling siblings step where Chan and Minho can see them from where they’re sitting on the couch. They go quiet, but their eyes light up when they see Chan and Minho. “So Chan really did it,” the girl, Hannah(?), says with a laugh.

The boy, Lucas(?), groans. “You couldn’t have just been a coward?” He asks Chan as he hands Hannah what looks like a five-dollar bill.

Chan splutters, but before he can say anything the two have disappeared from sight. “Stupid siblings,” he mutters.

Minho starts laughing again. “I wouldn’t know, I don’t have any siblings,” he tells Chan.

“You don’t want them,” Chan says with a faux solemn face. “They’re the worst.”

But with the way Chan is smiling as he says it, Minho isn’t inclined to believe him. “Were they your only siblings?” He asks instead of commenting on it.

“No. There’s one more trouble maker still coming,” Chan says distractedly. “Now shush, another song is about to play.”

Minho doesn’t turn his gaze back to the t.v., instead, he finds himself watching Chan. His attention is already focused solely on the movie once more, the light of the screen dancing across his face and making his emotions even more vibrant as they play across his face. _Beautiful,_ Minho thinks.

He tries not to think too hard about it.

***

Chan’s dad ends up coming home when Minho and Chan start watching Hercules. Minho is quick to introduce himself, but Chan’s dad is just as nice as his wife. He reminds Chan to not be too loud since it’s a school night for his siblings, to which Chan promises to try to keep the volume down. Chan’s dad rolls his eyes before making his way upstairs. Chan and Minho exchange matching smiles.

“I think you’re going to have the most trouble keeping it down. Though, I have to say that I am enjoying the concerts,” Minho tells Chan.

Chan laughs before turning his gaze away from Minho and to the remote in his hand. “You’ve been just as loud.”

Minho chooses to not argue with Chan on who has been louder. Instead, he just watches the opening animation of Hercules. They’re at the point where Meg is singing her heart out about the contradiction of not saying she’s in love, even though it’s a whole song that’s declaring she’s in love, when the door opens for what Minho thinks will be the last time.

Chan perks up, pausing the movie, and turns his gaze to the doorway. Minho follows Chan’s gaze just to see a familiar face that he honestly didn’t expect to see. “Felix?” He asks shocked.

“Hey Minho,” Felix says with an easy smile. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“But…” Minho says before trailing off.

Chan looks at Minho with a confused gaze. “I thought you knew? My family adopted Felix when he was fourteen, you still would’ve been here.”

But Minho doesn’t remember any of this. If what Chan is saying is true, then this would’ve been when Minho was around sixteen and still in high school. Chan would’ve been graduating that year. But it doesn’t seem to fit in Minho’s mind, in the timeline of his life.

But he does remember seeing a skinny kid with dark hair and freckles hiding behind Seungmin when Jisung and Hyunjin would have verbal arguments in the hallway. He wasn’t always there, but Minho didn’t think anything of it. He figured it was just them making a new friend, but that would’ve been around the time that the Bang family would have adopted him. It would make sense, but it doesn’t click in Minho’s head.

“You never told me,” he says instead, looking between Chan and Felix.

“I honestly thought you knew that Felix was my brother,” Chan says quietly. “I thought everyone in town knew.”

Minho’s heart sinks. If everyone knew, then did that mean that Minho just didn’t care to notice anything that didn’t pertain to him? Was that why he never noticed Changbin or Felix? Was that why he only recognized Hyunjin because his fights with Jisung were a daily occurrence in Minho’s own life? Was this the reason that Minho just stopped talking to Jisung when he went to college? Because it didn’t pertain to his life in the same way anymore.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Felix says suddenly. “I probably should’ve told you after you said that Chan asked you to come over for a movie night. There are a few people that didn’t know about the adoption. I didn’t socialize much when I first got here.”

Minho turns his gaze solely on Felix who gives him an easy smile. “It was nice to just be treated normally though,” he says honestly.

Minho slowly nods. He thinks he understands where Felix is coming from. “Did you want to watch movies with us?” He asks instead of continuing the conversation.

Felix looks at Chan with a secretive smile before shaking his head. “I would love to…” he pauses and Minho can feel Chan stiffen next to him, “but I got some homework left to do.”

“Good luck with that,” Minho calls after Felix who is already heading toward the stairs.

He turns his gaze back to Chan who’s already looking at Minho. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he says quietly. “I really thought you knew, but I guess I should’ve figured it out when you asked if there was anyone else. I guess I just took it as you asking if Felix was going to be coming back from Hyunjins, which of course he is. He can’t stay the night at Hyunjin’s anyways.”

Minho can’t find it in himself to ask Chan why Felix can’t stay the night at Hyunjin’s. “It’s ok, really,” he assures Chan. “I just get in my head sometimes.”

“Yeah,” Chan breathes out. “I just really wanted this night to go well.”

Minho gives Chan the softest smile that he can muster. “What are you talking about? This night is going great. No one is dragging us to Insomnia, no one is walking out during the middle of it, and we’ve already finished Mulan. Tonight couldn’t go better,” he says earnestly. “And you make great hot chocolate,” he adds as an afterthought.

Chan bites his bottom lip before smiling. “Ok, good,” he says while slightly nodding to himself. “I’m glad.”

“Now c’mon. We have a lot of movies to get through and all night to do so,” Minho says, urging Chan to press play on the movie.

***

Minho thinks he falls asleep sometime around dawn, his eyes shutting during “Be Our Guest” and not opening again until late afternoon. He’s still on the couch in the Bang living room, the curtain drawn to block out most of the sun. There’s a blanket laying over him and a note on the armrest next to his head.

_Didn’t want to wake you up and send you home. If you want, after you wake up I can take you back home. I’m upstairs in the room that says “Chan”. Just let me know what you want before leaving._

_My mom says you’re welcome to stay for dinner, btw!_

_Chan_

He rubs at his eyes before pushing the blanket off and standing up. The house is silent, and Minho thinks everyone must be at work or school still. He wonders if Chan is even awake right now with how quiet the house is, but if he listens closely then he can hear the sound of muffled music coming from upstairs. He folds up the blanket he used and lays it on the end of the couch. He doesn’t know where it actually goes since it wasn’t there last night.

His socked feet make no noise as he makes his way up the staircase to try and find Chan’s room. It opens to a hallway filled with doors. There’s one marked “Bathroom” and then “Lucas” across from that. As he makes his way deeper into the hallway he’s able to read more of the signs, and maybe understand a little bit more of everyone’s personality from how the doors are decorated.

Chan’s door is a plain white with only the nameplate “Bang Chan” hanging on it in handwriting that Minho recognizes as Chan’s own handwriting. He knocks softly against the white wood. A few seconds later the door opens to Chan wearing a black sweatshirt and baggy sweatpants. “Hey, you’re awake,” he says while leaning against the doorframe.

“Yeah, I just woke up,” Minho says truthfully, his voice coming out low and scratchy from disuse over the night.

Chan seems to startle at it before smiling easily again. “I’m glad. I was worried that you wouldn’t be able to sleep well on the couch, but I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“That was nice of you, but you really didn’t have to,” Minho tells him.

Chan shrugs. “Did you figure out what you wanted to do?”

Minho shrugs. “I don’t really have anything planned for today,” he says.

“Neither do I,” Chan says. “Want to hang out then. Mom said you can stay for dinner.”

“Dinner sounds nice,” Minho says.

“Great!” Chan says excitedly. “Want to watch some more movies. We can actually watch Beauty and the Beast this time.”

Minho bites his lip before nodding. “Yeah, that sounds great.”

Chan promises to be down in just a second, he just has to turn off his music and save some of the files he was working on. Minho nods before heading back down the stairs. When Chan joins him again, Beauty and the Beast is already loaded on the screen. "Did you want anything to eat or drink?" Chan asks.

Minho shakes his head. "No. I just want you to sit next to me. This is my favorite Disney movie," Minho says with a pout.

Chan lets out a laugh before he falls onto the couch next to Minho. And if he's sitting a little closer to Minho than he was the night before, well Minho has decided to just not think about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back!!
> 
> Honestly, I have been wanting to write this chapter for so long, but I hit writer's block and I've been pretty sick these past few weeks. But I sat down, put on a Disney playlist, and cranked this out. And I thought it was the right amount of fluff and surprises to post!
> 
> I hope that you guys enjoyed the update and the cute Minchan Disney date. Because it was fun writing it! I will try to update soon!
> 
> I hope that everyone has a good day! And Happy Holidays everyone!


	10. Chapter Ten: Snowmen

Minho thinks about Chan’s warm smile as he sits on the worn-down, brown, leather couch in his therapist's office. He doesn’t know why he does, but it brings him comfort as he stares outside the window at the bleak landscape. Winter has fully taken over now, everything covered in a layer of white as the snow keeps falling from the sky. Minho wouldn’t mind, but his habit of forgetting his gloves has not gotten any better, and even now sitting inside of this warm office, his fingers still burn from the prolonged exposure to the cold wind.

“Did anything exciting happen?” His therapist asks kindly.

Minho thinks about the movie night he had only a few days ago, and the day that followed after. Just Minho and Chan sitting on the couch and watching Kim Possible and talking. He thinks about Chan’s siblings coming home and making their way into the living room against Chan’s protests. He thinks about Felix sitting on the other side of Minho as they both watched Chan fight his younger brother for the remote.

“I’m surprised you’re still here,” Felix had said quietly.

Minho had grown tense, but the younger continued. “I just mean, I thought you would’ve been bored by now.”

He remembers wondering what Felix could have meant by that. Just sitting on that couch with Chan was the most fun he’s had in a while. Just having someone near that he could talk to about the plot of the episodes was more than enough for him. But Minho didn’t say any of that. He had just looked at Felix and shrugged. “Didn’t really feel like leaving.”

And he wonders, briefly, if Felix had understood. There was something about the look on his face that made it seem like he did, but Minho had been too tired to ask then. And he wasn’t going to ask now.

“I hung out with a friend,” Minho finally tells his therapist. “It was nice.”

“With Jisung?” Dr. Park asks.

Minho shakes his head. “No, another friend. His name is Chan, and I work with him.”

“That’s nice,” Dr. Park says with a smile. “I’m glad you’re making more friends.”

Minho nods stiffly. “Yeah, it’s nice,” he says quietly.

“And what did you do when you were hanging out?” Dr. Park asks.

“We watched movies. I ended up staying the night at his house by accident, but when I woke up we just went back to watching movies,” Minho says, turning his gaze from the white landscape outside to Dr. Park’s dark eyes. “We had dinner with his family before he walked me home to get ready for work. Then we walked to work together. It was nice.”

And it had been. Even if Minho had felt a little awkward sitting at the dining room table with Chan’s family. They had been nice, welcoming even. Chan’s father had asked Minho some simple questions about what he was doing and what he wanted to do in the future. They listened as Minho explained his dreams of opening up a dance studio, and they even seemed impressed. It was more than his family had ever said about his passions.

Chan’s siblings were less interested in Minho himself, but more interested in how they could embarrass Chan with Minho sitting next to him. Minho had laughed more with each story the siblings told than he had in a while. Seeing Chan blush had been highly amusing for Minho, but Chan had just stared at him with dark eyes and told Minho to enjoy it while he could because he was just going to ask Jisung to tell him every embarrassing story he could about the other.

That had sobered Minho up quickly.

“And it was nice, the dinner?” Dr. Park asks, effectively bringing Minho out of his thoughts and back into the present.

“It was great,” Minho says with a genuine smile. “They were really welcoming.”

Dr. Park opens his mouth to say something else, but the timer for the end of their session goes off. Minho takes that as his cue to stand up and start heading to the door like he always does. But this time he pauses, his hand resting against the doorknob as he opens his mouth to speak. “Am I a bad person for finding more enjoyment with someone I barely know instead of people who have been by my side through everything?”

He doesn’t dare to look back at Dr. Park, not even when she starts speaking again. “No, Minho. It doesn’t make you a bad person. People are in your life for different reasons, and you’ll have different experiences with all of them. You’re not a bad person, Minho, you’re just human and trying to figure things out after everything that has happened. And that’s ok.”

Minho nods, his throat too tight to speak. Dr. Park doesn’t say anything else as Minho opens the door and fast walks out of the therapist's office. He just wants to get home before he starts to cry.

***

Changbin is sitting at one of the tables when Minho goes on break. His days off had been switched that week, so he’s not working with Chan tonight. Instead, he’s working with one of the morning shift managers, he thinks his name is Sungjin. And Sungjin is cool, he’s good at his job and he makes sure that Minho is doing ok. But it’s also awkward and weird not working with Chan.

So maybe seeing a familiar face, even if it’s a face that doesn’t always like Minho, is what makes Minho beeline toward the younger’s table. Changbin doesn’t look up until Minho is sliding into the seat opposite of him. “What are you doing?” The younger male asks with a deadpan expression.

“Sitting,” Minho replies.

Changbin raises a brow, pointedly looking at the almost empty shop surrounding them. Minho doesn’t say anything and instead taps his fingertips on the table as he looks out the window.

“Is there a reason you’re sitting with me?” Changbin asks.

Minho shrugs, but the words _you’re the only person I know_ are on the tip of his tongue begging to be free. He keeps his mouth locked so they can’t escape. He doesn’t want to seem clingy to Changbin, especially when their relationship is strained at best and non-existent at worst.

“Whatever,” Changbin mutters. “Just please stop tapping.”

The tapping immediately stops, and Minho allows himself to look forward again now that he knows Changbin is going to send him away. “What are you doing?” Minho asks.

Changbin’s laptop is lying unopened on the table before him, a notebook and pencil resting to the left of it. Changbin’s hands are squeezing his coffee cup enough for his knuckles to turn white. Something feels wrong, but Minho can’t put his fingers on it.

“Nothing,” Changbin says.

“Is everything ok?” Minho asks.

Changbin sighs. “I’m just tired.”

“Then why don’t you go home and sleep?” Minho innocently asks.

Changbin shakes his head, turning away from Minho’s gaze to look out the window instead. “It’s complicated. But I have to get my schoolwork done.”

Minho doesn’t say anything about Changbin not even touching his computer or notebook. He chooses to just study the other male instead. His hair looks greasier than usual and duller. There are dark bruises under his eyes, one’s that Minho is familiar with. They’re the same kind of bruises that Minho would see taunting him in the mirror when he was still in college, and can only be the work of getting little sleep. His eyes are dull and tired. There’s no spark of joy or light residing in the dark brown irises. 

Everything about him reminds Minho of what it was like just a few months ago. When he was standing in his dorm room staring at himself through his full-length mirror. Exhausted, worn out, and wondering when anything would change. It’s not a feeling Minho would wish on anyone else, even Changbin.

“What do you have to do?” Minho cautiously asks instead.

“I have to finish writing this essay, but I’m stuck,” Changbin admits.

“What’s the essay over?”

“Ethical practices of running a business,” Changbin replies.

“Oh, I can help you with that,” Minho says, perking up slightly. “I’ve done a few essays on that topic.”

Changbin glances at Minho. “I don’t want to bother you,” he says slowly.

But there’s a glint of hope in his eyes that softens Minho. “I don’t mind,” he says earnestly. “I can help you figure out the rest of the essay without any problems. And then you can finish it and go get some sleep, you look worse than I ever have.”

Changbin lips quirk into a smile as he nods and reaches for his notebook. “I have the essay written out here. It’s easier to think that way. You can look over it first, and then we can discuss more about the paper.” He slides the now open notebook Minho’s way.

“Sounds good!” Minho chirps out as he picks up the item.

They spend the rest of Minho’s break going over the paper and what to put into it, what to change, and what to add. By the time Minho is called back to work, Changbin seems less tired and more content with where things are going. He still looks a little shaken up, and maybe there’s more to it than a paper, but Minho is glad he was able to help even just a little.

“Thank you,” Changbin says quietly as Minho moves to go clock back in. 

“Anytime,” Minho replies. “You have some interesting ideas, and it was fun working with you.”

And then he’s slipping behind the counter to go to the back room. By the time he makes his way to the front Changbin is gone. Minho’s just happy that he left, and hopes that the younger will get some sleep now.

***

“We should build a snowman,” Jisung suggests a few days later.

They’re lounging in Minho’s house watching some ridiculous cartoon. Christmas break is upon Jisung, and instead of bothering his other friends, he decided to make his way to Minho’s house. Minho doesn’t mind, it’s nice being around Jisung. And the more time he spends with the younger, the easier it is to become comfortable once more. 

Minho knows they should probably talk about everything. What happened while Minho was away, what made Minho come back. But he can’t bring himself to open up to the younger just yet. He’d rather they ignore the elephant in the room for the time being, if only to buy Minho more time to get his thoughts back in order. 

“Why should we build a snowman?” Minho asks from where he lays spread out against one of his couches.

“Because it’s the perfect weather,” Jisung says. “And it would be fun. We could invite Hyunjin, and he would bring Felix. Maybe I could even convince Changbin to join us. And Seungmin of course. I don’t know if Chan would be free or not, but he would be welcome for sure.”

“And just where do you want to build this snowman?” Minho asks with a raised brow.

“Ummm, your backyard, obviously. It’s the biggest one. Which means we could make a huge snowman,” Jisung replies back easily.

Minho sits up to look at Jisung better. Jisung is sprawled out on the floor scrolling through his phone. Probably on Twitter.

“My backyard. You want to invite a bunch of random people to build a snowman in my backyard,” Minho deadpans.

Jisung puts his phone down. “They’re not a bunch of random people. They’re my friends, and last I checked you didn’t seem to have a problem with them. Hyunjin said you even hung out with him and Felix for a bit. And I know you stayed the night at Chan’s. And Changbin said you even helped him with his homework, and you bonded when you guys walked home together.”

Minho doesn’t miss the fact that Jisung doesn’t bring up Seungmin.

“That doesn’t mean I want them to come to my house,” Minho says.

“Where else could we go?” Jisung fires back.

They end up making the snowman at Minho’s house. Somehow Jisung had convinced him this was the only place the snowman would be safe. And Minho regrets it as soon as he sees the other six people standing on his doorstep. Six because Jeongin had weaseled his way into coming along. And by that Minho means he had whined to Chan that they were supposed to hang out today, so Chan brought him along.

And well, Minho couldn’t be mad at Chan for bringing Jeongin along. He could just be mad at Jisung for inviting them in the first place.

“This will be fun!” Chan exclaims excitedly, his hands clapped together and his eyes lit up.

“Yeah,” Minho agrees. 

Maybe it will all turn out ok.

***

It does not turn out ok.

At first, everything was going fine. They had split up into different teams to build the snowman. Jisung and Changbin were going to create the base, Hyunjin and Felix would create the middle, and Seungmin and Jeongin would create the head. Chan and Minho were to find different objects they would use for the face. And at first, it was working well.

But it could only go downhill from there.

The next thing Minho knew someone had started a snowball fight, which ended with Jisung tackling Hyunjin and them rolling in the snow. Which had caused Minho to fall when they had rolled too close to him and accidentally hit his knee. Minho’s knee-jerk reaction was to hold onto something to get his balance back, but that ended up being Chan. Who also went down with him.

So Minho, Chan, Jisung, and Hyunjin were now soaking wet and dripping water all over the back hallway. Minho had explained to Felix where the towels were and asked if he could grab some for everyone to dry off with considering he was the least soaked out of all of them.

The freckled boy had smiled brightly and given an affirmative before scurrying off deeper into the house. “This is all your fault,” Minho had hissed lowly at Jisung when Felix disappeared.

His friend said nothing, just gave a smug smile and a quick laugh. “But it was fun,” he replied.

Minho didn’t think it was fun to be in skinny jeans that were now uncomfortably sticking to his thighs, and a sweatshirt that was uncomfortable pulling at his skin. Instead, he thought this whole scenario was ridiculous, and he was ready to get payback against Jisung for starting this whole thing.

The worst part, in Minho’s opinion, was that they didn’t even get to make the snowman.

“I’m sure it will be fine. We’ll dry off and have some hot chocolate to warm us up,” Chan says brightly. “And maybe we can even watch a few movies, that is if Minho is ok with it.” He turns his gaze to Minho who melts.

“Fine. But anyone who isn’t dry is sitting on a towel on the floor,” Minho says quickly.

“Sounds good,” Hyunjin says. “Sorry about dripping on your floor.”

“It’s fine,” Minho reassures him. “It’s not like you were the one who started rolling around in the snow.” He shoots Jisung a pointed glance.

The younger just laughs as Felix comes back to hand them the towels.

“Here. Jeongin and Seungmin are currently in the living room and wondering what’s happening next,” Felix tells them once his hands are cleared.

“Movies,” Chan says excitedly. “Movies and hot chocolate, but only if they want to stay.”

Minho stops paying attention as he rubs the towel against his body to hopefully mop up some of this water. He knows that as soon as he stops dripping he’s going to head straight upstairs to his room to change. He can’t stand the damp cotton against his body. Not for much longer that is.

“I’m gonna go change. Jisung you know where everything is, so please show Chan so that he can make some hot chocolate.”

“Hey, why do I have to show Chan?” Jisung sputters out. “I could easily make the hot chocolate.”

Minho levels him with a stare. “After what you pulled in the snow, I wouldn’t trust you to fill a glass of water without burning something down.”

Jisung opens his mouth, probably to fire back a comment of his own, before he deflates. “I guess that makes sense,” he mumbles.

Minho softens instantly. “Besides, this way we’re using Chan for free labor. It would look bad if I made you do all the work,” Minho tells him.

Jisung laughs. “You got me there.”

Minho smiles, ruffling his hair, before making his way toward the stairs. The faster he can get out of these clothes the better.

***

Later, much later, Minho is curled up in the corner of his couch. His long-empty coffee cup is comfortably resting in his hands, the warmth is long gone but the weight is a nice reminder that he’s awake and this is real. 

Changbin is stretched out next to him, his socked feet pressing against his thighs. Minho doesn’t dare wake him, not when this is the most peaceful he’s ever seen the other. 

Chan is spread out on the other couch. Minho can’t see his face, but he thinks the older could be sleeping. If only because of the steady rise and fall of his chest and the fact he hasn’t moved in hours. 

Everyone else is dog-piled on the floor in front of Minho. Hyunjin and Felix are a mess of limbs tangled haphazardly together. Minho can barely tell where one of them ends and the other begins. They are pressed directly against the couch, just under where he’s sitting, and Changbin’s limo hand is resting in Hyunjin’s hair. 

Swung in is next to Felix, almost underneath him. He’s wrapped protectively around Jisung, like a dog curling around their young. Jeongin escaped most of the cuddling, but his arm is captured in a death grip pressed tightly against Jisung's chest.

It’s late, but Minho is used to being nocturnal by now. His parents had come home hours earlier, but they didn’t say anything about the mess of children lounging in their living room. All they did was order enough pizza for everyone to eat while Minho avoided this gazes. 

The movie day continued into the night, and one by one everyone had fallen asleep. At least, until Minho was the last one awake.

He thought he would be more uncomfortable. That having his living room be filled with virtual strangers would ignite his fight or flight senses, but it didn’t. In reality, he just feels calm. The atmosphere is almost serene. Like Minho could curl up in it and wrap it around him like a blanket so he would never have to leave. 

He wishes it would stay like that forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear life has been hectic, and I just have not been able to get the motivation to write anything. But inspiration hit me last week and I was finally able to figure out how to finish this chapter.
> 
> Hopefully, I'll be able to go back to semi-normal updates, but there is no telling.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. It was mostly a filler, but it was to also bring the characters even more together. Thank you so much for enjoying this story and continuing to read it!!


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